Thursday, October 22, 2015

This May Be The Reason You Are Not Having Success

Many leaders are impatient.  I get it.  One of the gifts set aside solely for leaders is vision.  Leaders see in their mind a picture of a preferred future.  This glimpse of what could be drives leaders forward…sometimes at an unhealthy pace.
If they are not careful, a compelling vision can make leaders impatient and therefore, uncaring.  It can make them run forward leaving their teams behind.  Why be anchored down by these people who don’t see it?  No clutch.  No compassion.
The vision can make leaders always go for the “Home Run”, to swing for the fences, rather than taking the necessary time to build an enduring organization.  If not careful, a compelling vision can make leaders leapfrog the two words high-octane leaders hate – “the process”.
Successful leaders embrace the process.  Rather than always going for home runs, successful leaders know the importance of consistently just hitting singles and getting on base as much as possible.  Small, incremental steps which continually move us forward.
Success takes time.  It is in the little things consistently done well on a daily basis.  Success does not all come at once.
I was reminded of this leadership principle when I read the October 21st USA Today headline “Success comes one hit at a time.”  The article was a breakdown of the Kansas City Royals comeback win over the Toronto Blue Jays in Game 2 of the American League Championship Series.
As I read the article, I gleaned 5 Reasons Great Leaders Hit Singles As Well As Home Runs:
  1. Big Things Often Start With Singles – A 5-run 7th inning by the Royals started with an unspectacular bloop single.
  2. Sometimes You Have No Choice But To Hit Singles – Market pressures or lack of staff and resources often make it so you cannot go for home runs.  You must start small.  Royals general manager Dayton Moore says, “Power production often occurs a little later in a player’s career.  Our market is always going to dictate that we have young players…We’ve got to put the ball in play and play situational baseball.”
  3. You Can Hit Singles More Consistently Than Home Runs – New York Mets general manager Sandy Alderson says, “High on-base contact offense with some speed is more effective in a short series because it’s more consistent as opposed to power numbers.”
  4. Singles Give You A Better Chance To Win Than Home Runs – Blue Jays general manager John Gibbons said about the playoffs, “Generally it’s going to be a low-scoring game.  And what wins that is putting the ball in play.  Maybe, a ball sneaks through, somebody boots a ball or a contact play scores a guy from third base.”
  5. And Finally, Small Things Done Well Over Time Compound Success – Since 2008, there has been 240 different individual major league teams.  The median rank of all pennant winners for hitting with runners in scoring position is in the top 18%.  Putting the ball in play, hitting singles, is a key component of winning teams.
Whether you lead a church, business, non-profit, or athletic organization, stop trying to always go for the home run.  What are some singles you can hit today – little things done well which compounded over time will give you success?
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Wednesday, October 21, 2015

7 Ways Pastors Can Develop Thicker Skin

7 Ways Pastors Can Develop Thicker Skin

9.7.CC.WaysPastorsThickerSkin
“Simply stated, critics and criticisms are inevitable for the pastor.”
Among my top five most frequented issues from pastors is criticism. The number of “bosses” a pastor has is equal to the number of members in the church. Some of those members are very opinionated. And some of those opinionated members are critics of the pastor.
So the common questions I get are:
• How can I deal with critics and criticism?
• How can a pastor get thicker skin without sacrificing a soft and compassionate heart?
Before I offer my suggestions, we must admit the realities of serving as a pastor. First, the nature of the vocation is that the pastor must often make demonstrative statements and definitive decisions. Such is the nature of preaching. Or counseling. Or teaching. Or leading. Those demonstrative statements and actions will inevitably engender opinions and perspectives from others.
Some will agree. Others will not. Some of the latter category will become your critics.
Second, a pastor has a definitive amount of time. Twenty-four hours in a day. Or 168 hours in a week. Thus the pastor must make time allocation decisions. Some people will not get the attention they think they deserve. It is impossible to meet everyone’s expectations. So some of those people will become critics as well.
Simply stated, critics and criticisms are inevitable for the pastor. They will not go away. Our purpose here is to suggest seven ways pastors can deal with them. I think all pastors need a preparatory course in developing thicker skin.
1. Don’t take most of the criticisms personally. Most of them are really not about you or your character. They are about a different opinion or perspective. And some may have no logical basis whatsoever. They can come from a person who is hurting deeply. I learned one time that one of my most vocal critics was dealing with the death of his son. He needed my compassion, not my defensiveness.
2. Pray for the critic. I shouldn’t be surprised, but I still am amazed at the power of prayer. And I have been amazed how many times my fallible perspective has changed when I started praying for my critic.
3. Develop a winsome spirit. Defensiveness and bitterness never help. Learn to laugh at yourself. Have a joyous spirit. Rejoice in the Lord always (there is something biblical about that).
4. Be a transparent leader. Criticism often goes to greater depths and frequency when there is a sense that the pastor is not being totally upfront on an issue or perspective. The transparent leader will be given the benefit of the doubt more times than not. That pastor will not eliminate criticisms, but those criticisms will be less frequent and intense.
5. Pray for your own attitude. Here’s that prayer thing again. Pastors are not perfect. They can have bad attitudes. They can see critics as the enemy. They can have a spirit of defensiveness and even retribution. Pastors must constantly be on guard with their own attitudes. They not only will deal with ministry more effectively and godly if they do, they will develop thicker skins for dealing with criticisms.
6. Focus on the majority. Almost all of the time, more people are with you than against you. The minority critics can seem so loud that we get the impression most everyone is against us. I recently heard from a pastor who decided to move to another church. When he announced his resignation to the congregation, they gave him a standing ovation of affirmation of his ministry. He said later that day that he probably would not have left had he known so many people supported him.
7. Look in the mirror. We are all wrong sometimes. Some of the criticisms are not without justification. The pastor will gain more respect and credibility with a response that admits wrong and apologizes.
Throughout biblical history and beyond, prophets, priests and pastors have dealt with criticisms, adverse circumstances and even persecution. The question is not whether tough times will come; they will. The question is how will you respond in those tough times.
Pastors who develop a thick skin are more likely to have joyful and long-term ministries. I have suggested seven ways to develop a thick skin. What would you change or add?  
Thom S. Rainer is the president and CEO of LifeWay Christian Resources (LifeWay.com). Among his greatest joys are his family: his wife Nellie Jo; three sons, Sam, Art, and Jess; and six grandchildren. He was founding dean of the Billy Graham School of Missions, Evangelism, and Church Growth at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. His many books include Surprising Insights from the Unchurched, The Unexpected Journey, and Breakout Churches. More from Thom Rainer or visit Thom at http://www.thomrainer.com
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How Long Will It Take for My Church to Really, Actually Change?

How Long Will It Take for My Church to Really, Actually Change?

9.5.CC.TakeForChurchActualChange
How long will it take for my church to really, actually change?
One of the most common questions I hear from church leaders is, “How long will it take my church to permanently change?”
It’s such a great question because change sometimes feels, well, impossible.
You hear a constant stream of complaints
You’ve run into too many people who like things the way they are now (or the way they were a long time ago).
You’ve got too many friends who got hurt badly trying to lead change.
The committees keep meeting and they keep stalling.
You’re starting to feel like Moses in the desert with no Promised Land in sight.
I get that, I’ve been there.
But don’t get discouraged. Change—even radical change—is possible.
The bottom line? Don’t overestimate what you can accomplish in one year. Don’t underestimate what you can do in five years.
Our Story: From Slow Death to Radical Transformation
I’ve led change in a local church for 20 years with the many of the same core group of people I started with when I was a seminary grad.
I began ministry with three small mainline churches whose total average attendance was less than 50. They churches were about as traditional as churches get: century old buildings, organs, choirs, committees, few kids and zero growth.
Within five years we had sold all three buildings and merged the three churches into a new church with a new name and a new mission. In the process, we changed the structure of leadership, engineered a radical overhaul of the style of worship, moved to an elementary school and launched a building campaign. In the process, we grew to over 10 times our original size.
Then seven years ago, a core of us left the denomination we were a part of. We left a nearly paid for building to start again in neighboring communities as Connexus, launching two locations at once. We moved from a permanent building to rented facilities and planted as a North Point Strategic Partner. Now, we see over 1,000 people on weekends, 60 percent of whom have little to no regular church attendance in their background. This has helped us realize our vision to be a church that unchurched people love to attend.
I realize, that’s a lot of change. Have we lost people? Of course.
But we have reached many more. And many didn’t leave. Some have been with us through the entire 20-year journey.
Change refuses to make peace with the status quo. Change bridges the gap between what is and what could be.
I share those things not to boast—God receives the credit—but to let you know that change is possible. Radical change is possible.
Radical Change IS Possible
Your church doesn’t have to be stalled or dying to experience the benefits of change.
One of the best examples of this is how Jud Whilite took over the senior pastor role at Central Christian Church in Las Vegas after Gene Appel had led it from 400 to over 8,000 in attendance. If you follow church world at all, those transitions don’t always go well (that’s an understatement). How do you build on that? Under Jud’s leadership, Central has become a distinctly different church and grown even more.
It changed. And reached more people. (Jud will be a guest on my podcast this fall by the way. You can subscribe for here free.)
Two more stories of rapid change can inspire you.
Both Ron Edmondson and Jeff Price have turned their churches around radically within a two-year window.  While transformation will still take longer, their stories demonstrate without a doubt that change is possible sooner than you’d think. Both interviews are (in my view) worth the listen, especially if you need hope and strategy as a leader.
How to Begin Change
Before you start engineering change, there are at least three prerequisites:
1. A clear and compelling vision, mission and strategy. Most people have a vision and mission, but few have a strategy. Mission answers the question of what we’re called to do. Vision answers why we’re called to do it. But strategy is about how we will accomplish it. Strategy is often the difference between success and failure. And please understand, I’m talking about embarking on good change here—godly, biblical, wise and courageous change that will result in a mission being accomplished. Not some whim of a dictator-like leader.
2. A team committed to bringing about the change. You can’t do this alone. You need at least a handful of people committed to the change. People who will pray with you and help broker the change. You can usually find them. You just have to look.
3. A deep resolve. Are people go to enthusiastically embrace even good change? Many will not, but most will—if you know how to lead them. Leading Change Without Losing It is a guide to help leaders navigate the nerve-wracking opposition that comes with change.
So HOW Long? (A Reasonable Time Frame for Change)
So how fast can you change? While times will vary, here’s what I believe is a reasonable time frame for change based on an organization that is currently not on a pathway to change:
12-18 Month Prep Period. Again, assuming you are going to bring up change in a change resistant culture, it might take you 12-18 months to get the prerequisites outlined above in place.
If you have a change-friendly context, you might be able to do this in three to six months. Either way, you’ll need to cast vision for change, create a vision, mission and strategy that will lead your church forward, and share it all enough that is owned by at least a small group of people other than yourself (in our church of 50, we had maybe a dozen truly on board to start).
One thing you can start changing in this window is your attitude. You can preach better, bring hope to meetings and inspire people. Attitude is something always in your control.
The first thing you can change is your attitude. Attitude is always within your control.
The goal of this prep period is to cast as clear and compelling a picture as you can of who you are going to be and what you’re going to look like five years from now.
Then break the change down into short-term (one year), medium-term (two to three years) and long-term (three to five year) goals.
Year One. Year one is the time to get some quick wins under your belt. Move to a better curriculum. Preach better series. Introduce some new music. Change your meeting structure or frequency. Paint something. Pick some changes that are easy to make and will result in a better experience now.  Remember, these are clear steps that are going to help you get to your five-year goal, not just random and unstrategic changes.
Two to Three Years. Choose some structural changes you want to make. We reformed our governance structure, made initial plans to sell our historic buildings, started introducing new musicians and a band (as we moved away from traditional music), introduced some new spiritual growth initiatives, and moved our kids ministry to where we wanted it to be. You need to start laying the structural support system for change now, or by the time you get to year five, your change won’t be sustainable.
Four to Five Years. Make your final changes. For us, it meant that our transformation is Sunday service style, governance, structure and more was complete. The last 10 percent is always the hardest, so don’t quit. Don’t overestimate what you can accomplish in one year, but don’t underestimate what you can accomplish in five.
Five+ Years. Keep changing. You’re never done. And now you’ve got new issues to solve and anticipate that didn’t exist when you started. So keep going.
Change v. Transformation
You can create a lot of change in five years. But when does transformation happen?
What’s the difference between change and transformation? It’s two fold:
Transformation happens when the changes you make become embedded in the organizational culture. What was new has become normal. People assume it’s just going to be this way. And what was novel is now a foundation for all future decisions. The change has become a part of your organizational culture.
Most people no longer want to go back; they want to move forward. I say most people because you’ll always have the dissenters. But most people want to move forward. They’re excited. Their vision has moved from being about the past to now embracing the present and future. The best is yet to come, and you can feel it.
So exactly when does transformation happen?
I believe transformation happens somewhere between year five and year seven.
Once you’ve made the change, have demonstrated that you’re not turning back, and you’ve begun to see some of the benefits of change (you’re healthier and likely growing), then the shift in values and culture happens—almost silently.
You know it’s a new day when people can’t imagine going back to the way they once were.
And that is an incredible reward for those who navigate change. Not to mention to the people who will benefit from your renewed mission.
Another way to look at transformation is this: Transformation happens when externally imposed change creates a set of new, internally owned values.
In other words, people have changed. They now believe and embrace what they once resisted.
What have you learned about change?
What stumbling blocks—or accelerants—have you discovered?  

Carey Nieuwhof Carey Nieuwhof is Lead Pastor of Connexus Church north of Toronto, Canada, blogs at www.careynieuwhof.com and is host of The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast available for free on iTunes. More from Carey Nieuwhof or visit Carey at http://careynieuwhof.com

Give Your Weakness to God

Give Your Weakness to God

10.20 WEAKNESS
“Christian community should be one of the places where people can actually be vulnerable.”
“How are you doing?”
It’s a pet peeve of mine—that I’m also guilty of—when those words are used as a greeting rather than as a question. It’s easy to say, “How are you doing?” without actually wanting a substantive answer. Sometimes people will ask me that without even breaking stride as they pass me by. The only appropriate, or even physically possible, answer becomes “Oh, fine” or “Good!”—even if things may not be so. This type of shallow greeting embodies a lot of our everyday interactions. We often hum along the surface in relationships but rarely plunge beneath to the real state of our hearts.

Community: A Place for Reality

Christian community should be one of the places where people can actually be vulnerable. Gathering with fellow Christians should be one of the few times where we don’t hide the realities of life. To be vulnerable may mean to be honest about sin, or brokenness, or weakness, or just the general mess of life. Vulnerability encompasses guilt from the past, low-level anxiety, loneliness, sadness, or a general lack of joy or satisfaction. Some may be doubting God, feeling overwhelmed or inadequate as a Christian, husband, wife, parent or employee.
There’s a danger when Christians are expected to be open and honest, but are not. If someone opens up about an issue, and others respond with flippant attitudes, Christian clichés, total silence, shock and disgust, or perhaps even indifference, this discourages and even prevents openness. It communicates to the one who shared, as well as to the others in the group, that what was shared is unimportant. Others will remember this experience and never share anything vulnerable about themselves. When Christians fail to respond well to tender moments it stunts friendships and ministry, and it leads to nice but superficial relationships.

What Is Redemptive Vulnerability?

So what is redemptive vulnerability? To be vulnerable is to be susceptible to being wounded or hurt. In the context of community, vulnerability is opening up about one’s humanity. It’s to admit that we are not perfect people. We have not arrived. We are broken, unfinished people who live in a world that itself is broken because of the fall. We experience depression, burn out, cancer, sadness, death, grief, disability, disease, relational strife, loneliness, lust, anxiety and the list goes on.
But our story doesn’t need to end with brokenness. Redemptive vulnerability—a vulnerability that leads to life—is where we share our brokenness in order to display the surpassing power and sufficiency of Christ and the gospel, which transforms us increasingly into the likeness of Christ. Vulnerability is not an end in itself. Rather, our vulnerability should point us, individually and together with other believers, to the sufficiency of Jesus. It looks at and hopes in the redemption we have in Christ Jesus and the work of the cross.

God Uses Weak People for His Best Work

Paul calls the Corinthians to remember that they were not the cultural elite, the politically powerful or the materially rich, but rather the foolish, weak, low and despised (1 Corinthians 1:26–31). The principle at work here is that God intentionally uses weak things to accomplish his glorious purposes. The reason God does it this way is so that “no human being might boast in the presence of God” (1 Corinthians 1:29). God alone is to get the glory.
God doesn’t need the powerful, influential or the cultural movers and shakers to accomplish his work. God actually goes out of his way to give disproportionate impact to the weak, humble and foolish so that Christ receives all the glory. God intentionally uses weak people to do his best work. When we recognize that we are weak people, we can stop trying to keep up a façade and instead look to the sufficiency and goodness of our God that brings redemption, healing and comfort to our struggles.

Bringing Redemption to Our Vulnerability

Recently, a friend shared that their small group—in one year—had walked through the death of a parent, a felony crime, drug-related charges, psychological issues, same-sex attraction, marital discord, job transition and disability. Yet they weren’t stalled on any one of those issues. They prayed, studied God’s word, supported each other and reminded one another of who God is and what he has done. They didn’t become a self-help group. They didn’t just listen and lament. They listened, and then they looked to God together. They let the truths and promises of Scripture fill their hearts and minds as they walked through those challenging situations and circumstances.
To bring redemption to our vulnerability means we open up not to wallow in our situation, but to lift our eyes together to God in hope. We can look together at his promises. We cry out together for comfort, wisdom, help and faith. We listen to one another, and to labor together in prayer because sometimes we’re too feeble to pray alone. Weakness and vulnerability remind us that we are dependent and God is sufficient. God loves to meet us in our moments of need and to give us more of his grace as we seek it moment by moment, especially with others.

No Quick Fixes

How this plays out in our individual communities and relationships will require wisdom. It’s not simple or clear-cut. We walk with each other through hard things that may not have tidy conclusions or ever end this side of heaven. We don’t apply the gospel like someone putting a Band-Aid on cancer. Instead, we let the truth of the gospel and the power of the indwelling Spirit fill our bodies like chemotherapy drugs that enter into our spiritual bloodstream. There are rarely quick fixes or simple solutions for life’s problems, but we can look to a powerful, merciful, loving and sufficient Father who has loved us thoroughly through his Son at Calvary.
Redemptive vulnerability does not put a spotlight on vulnerability, brokenness or sin. Redemptive vulnerability highlights and magnifies how good, sufficient, kind, persistent and gracious God is. It’s his grace that makes us aware of our need for him. It’s his grace that causes us to cry out in dependence, to turn away from sin and to remind us of his love.
We can embrace our varied weaknesses in order that God’s power might be displayed. It’s the reminder we all need daily. God is sufficient. God is good. God loves you. And Jesus Christ will never leave you nor forsake you. No matter how weak or vulnerable we may be, we can look to Christ, whose grace is sufficient for us and made perfect in our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9).  

Steven Lee (@5tevenLee) is the pastor of small groups and community outreach at College Church in Wheaton, IL. He earned his M.Div. from Bethlehem College & Seminary in Minneapolis, MN. More from Steven Lee or visit Steven at http://www.desiringgod.org