Friday, February 24, 2017

7 Things You Might Be Missing About Unconnected People

7 Things You Might Be Missing About Unconnected People

7 Things You Might Be Missing about Unconnected People
Ever wish you could suddenly unravel the mystery of how to connect the unconnected people in your church? You know—the ones that no matter what you try, no matter how hard you try—they really don’t seem to want to do anything more than sit in a row. Maybe you wish you’d just sit bolt upright in the middle of the night and yell out, “Eureka! I know how to connect unconnected people!”
Or maybe you’ve just given up and assumed if God really wanted everyone connected in a group He would have given everyone the same level of desire to be part of a group!
Although I’ve frequently written about unconnected people, I’m not sure I’ve framed their situation quite this way.

Seven things you might be missing about unconnected people:

  1. Unconnected people are almost never loners. They are connected already, just not to other people at your church. In fact, I’ve said for many years that the least connected people in your church are the most connected people outside of your church (and conversely, the most connected people inside your church are the least connected outside).
  2. With very few exceptions, all of us are pre-wired for community. While unconnected people seem to be wired differently, they often are already experiencing a version of community somewhere else.
  3. Their taste buds don’t find the same topics appealing. Topics that long-time participants find fascinating rarely do it for unconnected people. Just like the taste for coffee, beer or wine, and brussel sprouts is an acquired taste, the key is to find topics in which unconnected people are already interested.
  4. Since almost nothing new is ever purchased without first sampling, trying on for size or test-driving for feel, why would connecting to a small group be any different? The longer the initial commitment sounds (“sign up for the fall semester” or “sign a 12- to 18-month covenant”), the more cautiously an unconnected person will approach connecting. Conversely, the more the invitation sounds like a test-drive or a taste-test, the less concerned an unconnected person will be.
  5. Unconnected people are not all the same. Within the broad category of unconnected people there are extroverts and introverts. There are socially adept people and there are socially awkward people. There are unconnected people who make great first impressions and those who don’t. While one strategy may work for extroverted, socially adept unconnected people who make great first impressions, the same strategy may feel like a death sentence (or at least life in prison) to the introverted, socially awkward spouse who makes a terrible first impression.
  6. Unconnected people are rarely regular attenders. They may only attend your weekend service on the weekends they have their children, or have Sunday off, or their team plays on Monday night. There are many reasons they only infrequently attend your weekend service.
  7. Unconnected people are often most comfortable with the familiar. While there are unconnected people who seek out new experiences and are the first in line for the new ride at Disneyland or the new latte at Starbucks, there are also many who are drawn to the familiar. At the same time, there are some who will only try the new restaurant if it’s in a familiar part of town or if it serves a familiar dish.
The Key Takeaway: Like all good designers, if you want your product to be purchased and used, you must know your customer. Becoming a student of unconnected people will help you understand them and create better next steps for them (and even first steps for their friends).

Delegation: The Secret Sauce to Effective Leadership

Delegation: The Secret Sauce to Effective Leadership

Delegation: The Secret Sauce to Effective Leadership
“I don’t have a problem with delegation. I love to delegate. I am either lazy enough, or busy enough, or trusting enough, or congenial enough, that the notion of leaving tasks in someone else’s lap doesn’t just sound wise to me, it sounds attractive.” —John Ortberg
It should come as no surprise to anyone that the greatest and most self-aware leaders know that they can’t do it all. The ability to delegate important tasks to other people and then trust them to complete those tasks with efficiency and accuracy is one of the most important skills a leader can possess. If you were to point out a leader that is burnt out and at their wit’s end, you would most likely also see a leader that has never attained the skill of proper delegation.
In essence, leadership and delegation are almost synonymous. When a leader learns to delegate important tasks to another person, they have reached a pinnacle of success that many fail to attain.
What does great delegation look like though? How can a leader decide what they should delegate and what they need to spearhead on their own? The reality is there is not really much that a leader can’t delegate to their team. We have put together a few pointers for you when it comes to delegating like a boss. These simple rules for delegation will help you take your leadership to the next level and get more done.

Work hard to improve your self-awareness as a leader.

Many leaders simply delegate the things that they don’t like to do. It can be easy to decide that the things that you don’t like to do are the things that you aren’t good at. This probably isn’t true, though. Many great leaders learn that they are often good at the tasks they don’t particularly enjoy. They also realize that there are things that they enjoy doing that members of their team are actually better at than they are. You might enjoy speaking in front of large groups of people for example, but you have a team member that is really good at connecting with an audience. Don’t be afraid to realize that other people have talents that are more refined than yours might be. This takes a level of self-awareness that goes beyond what most are willing to accept.

When delegating, ask for a final product instead of giving a road map.

There is a fine line between great delegation and micromanaging. Don’t cross the line! Instead, be intentional about casting the vision to your team about what you would like to see accomplished. It is OK for you to give some rules of engagement, but work hard to allow your team members to map out the plan on their own. If you tell them what to accomplish and how to accomplish it, you are essentially clipping your team’s wings when it comes to creativity and ingenuity. Make sure that you allow room for people to accomplish things differently than you would. Remember, your way isn’t always going to be the best way!

Know your team.

In addition to being self-aware, a great delegator must be aware of the skills and talents of the people they delegate to. Don’t delegate things to someone you know will struggle with those specific tasks. Be aware of their current workload and delegate to someone else if a team member has too much on their plate at the moment.

Be available.

The greatest thing a leader can do (aside from delegation) is support their team. The mantra of a great leader should always be, “My greatest leadership priority is helping my team solve their problems when they need me to.” If you simply spit out orders and then close your office door on your team, you are taking away the most valuable tool your team has: your input and advice. Be sure to always be available to help guide your team and mentor them when they need it.
Remember, all great leaders are great delegators. If you believe you are a strong leader and haven’t mastered this skill then you just might have a blind spot! Take the time to evaluate yourself in this area. Ask those around you about your skills when it comes to delegation. Ask them how you can improve and then take the advice!
This article originally appeared here.

Help in Overcoming Church Hurt

Help in Overcoming Church Hurt

Help in Overcoming Church Hurt
Have you been hurt by a church? If so, you’re not alone.
As a pastor of a church, I’ve heard stories from people who have found church confusing, contrarian, or even damaging. Not every church hurts people, but most churches have hurt someone at some point. Some people are hurt through their own mistakes, others because of sin committed against them, and still others because of failed leadership. This reality can leave them reluctant to re-engage, afraid of being hurt again, wanting to protect themselves, and questioning the place of church in their lives. The good news for the hurting is that God has spoken to your pain in the Bible.
Most of the writing in the New Testament about how to live in a church exists because the church has never been perfect. Most, if not all, of the letters were written to solve problems in the church:
  • Galatians to solve legalism (Galatians 1:6–7, 3:1–3, 4:9, 5:1).
  • Colossians to solve heresy (Colossians 2:4, 8).
  • 2 Timothy to solve tension in succession (2 Timothy 4:9–16).
  • Philippians to solve conflict and selfish ambition (Philippians 2:3–22).
  • 1 and 2 Corinthians to solve a whole host of problems centered around the issues of human pride in gifting and speaking that led to loveless and arrogant religious activity.
And that’s not even to mention the letters to the churches in Revelation (chapters 2–3), one of which is so unhealthy, it makes Jesus want to vomit (Revelation 3:16).
And we think we’ve got problems.

A Broken, but Growing Church

That said, the church is the bride of Christ and the body of Christ—a people set apart to declare God’s praises to the nations and called to become more like the people of God we are meant to be. We shouldn’t be surprised by hurt and pain in the church, because everyone in the church is still sinful. But while saving faith in Christ is not surprised by brokenness, it is never content or negligent with it either.
So how do we make progress in the midst of our church’s flaws? Many things are outside of our individual control, but God has given us a simple formula for walking through every stage of life with every kind of challenge, grief and disappointment. There’s nothing secret or magic about these steps, except for the Father who loves to reveal his power when we give ourselves to them.

1. Stay in God’s manual for our grief.

Unashamedly, unshakably, and unreservedly draw your hope for life and healing from the teaching of the Bible. The more we are centered on God’s truth spoken in love (Ephesians 4:1–16), the more we will grow up into maturity and the more resources we’ll have at our disposal to heal from hurt ourselves and to avoid hurting one another.
The temptation will be to avoid God’s word. But keep reading the Bible, even if for just a few minutes each day. It’s like eating. What counts is every single day getting what we need to get through that day. Knowing God’s word will help us as we process hurt and find truth to satisfy and guide us.

2. Pursue the holiness you hope for in others.

Passionately, sacrificially and deliberately persevere in pursuing Christ-like discipleship. When you’re faced with betrayal or disappointment, it will require perseverance—supernatural perseverance. Learn. Grow. Forgive. Repent. Repent some more. Fight the good fight. Urge each other on. Do not give up meeting together. Stay on the path of discipleship, knowing it will be rugged at times. Trust that the good work God is doing in you and in other believers around you will ultimately be for the good of all who believe in him.

3. Trust that love will eventually prevail.

Love anyway. It seems impossible in the moment, but it’s the call of every Christian in every situation. In the end, only love will abide (1 Corinthians 13:13). And without love, our lives will be meaningless and unfruitful (1 Corinthians 13:1–3). Love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8). Therefore, the wisest and safest way forward is always love. Love as if your life depends on it.
To love someone is to seek his best. I can love someone without even liking him. I can find someone frustrating, but still genuinely and truly want what is best for him. Love does not mean avoiding tough conversations or life-on-life accountability, but doing those sorts of things from a loving, humble, gracious and patient position which is from a mind and heart like Christ’s.
Jesus said you could tell his disciples by how they love one another (John 13:35), and so we who are loved by him love each other in turn—even through the darkest, most difficult days.
Of course, none of these steps will make your church experience or relationships perfect. But these truths will change how you process the pain you feel in the church. They will change your life. And eventually, by God’s grace, they will change your church, too.

The Happiest People in the World

The Happiest People in the World

The Happiest People in the World
The statistics are remarkable.
  • 99 percent of those surveyed are happy with their lives.
  • 97 percent answered yes to the question, “Do you like who you are?”
  • 99 percent agreed with the statement, “Do you love your family?”
Do you know of any group of people, of any economic status, educational level, age, ethnicity or geographic region, who approach those percentages? Who are these happy people?
People living with Down syndrome.

World Down Syndrome Day

March 21 is World Down Syndrome Day. As the statistics above show, there is a chasm between the experience of living with Down syndrome and the perception given to future parents about how awful life with Down syndrome must be. That perception results in horrible things.
And March 21—which is 3/21—is the perfect day to recognize our uniquely made family members, neighbors and friends because Down syndrome includes an extra, or third, copy of chromosome 21 in every cell of the body.
The intimacy of Psalm 139:13—“You knitted me together in my mother’s womb”—is clearly evidenced by those God makes with Down syndrome. God added that extra copy of chromosome 21 more than a trillion times in a baby with Down syndrome. It is a lot of knitting.

An Amazing Demographic

And one impact of that knitting is that people with Down syndrome report much greater happiness in their lives than any other demographic sample in any part of the world.
Of course, we must not discount the hardship and suffering related with the disabilities and learning complications associated with Down syndrome. Some babies with Down syndrome must have immediate surgeries for heart defects, and there is a higher risk of childhood leukemia and other conditions. Medical care, therapies and education are all expensive and time-consuming.
The cognitive disabilities associated with Down syndrome, which vary with every child, will mean learning will take longer and can be discouraging for everyone involved. Meltdowns, stubborn refusal to obey, sadness about a circumstance and fights with siblings will be part of the mix. Add how badly many in our society behave towards people with Down syndrome, and you are guaranteed to have hard days.

An Opportunity for the Church

So, this presents a great opportunity for the church. As Christians we already have a reason to welcome people with Down syndrome into our lives and our churches—God made them (and everyone else) in his image, for his glory. Christ’s church can look at and respond to both the suffering and the joy in realistic and hopeful ways that make God look glorious and build up families experiencing disability of every kind.
Because of Jesus, we can live like Paul instructed, “as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” (2 Corinthians 6:10), as we walk alongside families experiencing Down syndrome. We can do so because the God who made the child with his or her unique chromosomal makeup (Exodus 4:11) is the same God who promises he will supply our every need (Philippians 4:19).

Dispel the Myths About Down Syndrome

World Down Syndrome Day was started to dispel myths about Down syndrome. That’s a laudable goal, especially given the astounding and tragic number of unborn children who are aborted. And let’s not add to myths by overstating how loving and gentle “they” are. God makes every one of us uniquely, even those who share the characteristic of an extra copy of chromosome 21.
And let’s really confound our culture and the world by encouraging those with Down syndrome to develop and use their gifts in our churches. They have God-given good works to do (Ephesians 2:10).
Next time you hear that Down syndrome is part of the package of a child coming into a family, or you see a young person or adult with Down syndrome coming to your church, don’t stereotype into categories of “tragedy” or otherwise. Rather, pray for wisdom, go introduce yourself to an inherently valuable person (or her parents), and see what God might be pleased to do for them through you—and for you through them.

6 Indicators That You Are Not Ready for Leadership

6 Indicators That You Are Not Ready for Leadership

6 Indicators That You Are Not Ready for Leadership
Just because someone desires to lead, doesn’t mean they are ready to lead.
We all know those who tried to step into leadership roles without understanding what it means to truly lead others. And the outcome was unfortunate.
These men and women end up frustrated, disappointed and embarrassed.
So are you leadership-ready? Here six indicators that you may need to postpone accepting a leadership role:
  1. You think it is about you. The great leaders know that it is not about them. It is about their team. Their success is found in helping their team members find success.
  1. You think that position equals leadership. The great leaders aren’t concerned about their title. A title may give you authority, but it doesn’t always give you influence. Leaders are more concerned about influence than title.
  1. You believe that yelling louder works. This is a symptom of #2. Yelling may be effective in the short-term. But it rarely provides long-term results. Influence provides long-term results.
  1. You can’t delegate. The best leaders desire to empower, not hinder. Young leaders tend to struggle with delegation. Here are a few reasons why.
  1. You don’t trust anyone. Trusting in your own ability is easy. But this is not leadership. Leadership requires trusting in another’s ability.
  1. You don’t follow well. The best leaders are the best followers. A leader will struggle to lead if he or she doesn’t understand what it means to follow.
We can all find areas in which to improve. And if you find yourself relating to these indicators, taking on leadership responsibility is still possible. But it might not be best to take it on right now.
Take some time to improve in these six areas, and make yourself better prepared to be a steward of people.

12 Preaching Tips From Charles Spurgeon

12 Preaching Tips From Charles Spurgeon

12 Preaching Tips from Charles Spurgeon
Charles Spurgeon is arguably one of the greatest preachers in the history of Christianity.
  • He preached over 600 sermons before the age of 20.
  • The collection of his recorded sermons fills 63 volumes and over 20 million words, making it the largest collection of books by a single Christian author.
  • He once spoke to an audience of 23,654 without the use of a microphone or sound system.
  • He frequently preached 10 times per week because he accepted so many invitations to speak.1
Spurgeon was so gifted and influential that it’s no wonder he earned the nickname of the “Prince of Preachers.”
It’s safe to say that we could all learn much about preaching from such a prolific preacher.
So here are 12 preaching tips that Charles Spurgeon taught his students:

1. PRAYER IS SERMON PREP

Nothing prepares you to preach more than prayer.
“Prayer will singularly assist you in the delivery of your sermon; in fact, nothing can so gloriously fit you to preach as descending fresh from the mount of communion with God to speak with men. None are so able to plead with men as those who have been wrestling with God on their behalf.”2

2. USE STRIKING INTRODUCTIONS

The beginning of your sermon should immediately capture our attention.
“I prefer to make the introduction of my sermon very like that of the town-crier, who rings his bell and cries, ‘Oh, yes! Oh, yes! This is to give notice,’ merely to let people know that he has news for them, and wants them to listen. To do that, the introduction should have something striking in it. It is well to fire a startling shot as the signal gun to clear the decks for action.”3

3. LONG SERMONS ARE A PRODUCT OF SHORT STUDY

It takes a higher level of preparation and discipline to say less.
“Brevity is a virtue within the reach of all of us; do not let us lose the opportunity of gaining the credit which it brings. If you ask me how you may shorten your sermons, I should say, study them better. Spend more time in the study that you may need less in the pulpit. We are generally longest when we have least to say.”4

4. VARY YOUR VOICE

Nobody wants to listen to a monotone preacher.
“What a pity that a man who from his heart delivered doctrines of undoubted value, in language the most appropriate, should commit ministerial suicide by harping on one string, when the Lord had given him an instrument of many strings to play upon! Alas! alas! for that dreary voice, it hummed and hummed like a mill-wheel to the same unmusical turn, whether its owner spake of heaven or hell, eternal life or everlasting wrath. It might be, by accident, a little louder or softer, according to the length of the sentence, but its tone was still the same, a dreary waste of sound, a howling wilderness of speech in which there was no possible relief, no variety, no music, nothing but horrible sameness.”5

5. PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH

Your life off the stage overshadows your message on it.
“We have all heard the story of the man who preached so well and lived so badly, that when he was in the pulpit everybody said he ought never to come out again, and when he was out of it they all declared he never ought to enter it again… We do not trust those persons who have two faces, nor will men believe in those whose verbal and practical testimonies are contradictory. As actions, according to the proverb, speak louder than words, so an ill life will effectually drown the voice of the most eloquent ministry.”6

6. ENUNCIATE

Clear communication begins with clear enunciation.
“Take great care of the consonants, enunciate every one of them clearly; they are the features and expression of the words. Practice indefatigably till you give every one of the consonants its due; the vowels have a voice of their own, and therefore they can speak for themselves. In all other matters exercise a rigid discipline until you have mastered your voice, and have it in hand like a well-trained steed.”7

7. SILENCE IS GOLDEN

A pause can also snap the listener to attention.
“Know how to pause. Make a point of interjecting arousing parentheses of quietude. Speech is silver, but silence is golden when hearers are inattentive. Keep on, on, on, on, on, with commonplace matter and monotonous tone, and you are rocking the cradle, and deeper slumbers will result; give the cradle a jerk, and sleep will flee.”8

8. USE NATURAL GESTURES

Be yourself, not a cheap imitation of somebody else.
“Your mannerism must always be your own, it must never be a polished lie, and what is the aping of gentility, the simulation of passion, the feigning of emotion or the mimicry of another man’s mode of delivery but a practical lie.”9

9. APPEAL TO PEOPLE’S SELF-INTEREST

Embrace the fact that each person is his or her favorite subject.
“I suggest again that in order to secure attention all through a discourse we must make the people feel that they have an interest in what we are saying to them. This is, in fact, a most essential point, because nobody sleeps while he expects to hear something to his advantage. I have heard of some very strange things, but I never did hear of a person going to sleep while a will was being read in which he expected a legacy, neither have I heard of a prisoner going to sleep while the judge was summing up, and his life was hanging in jeopardy. Self-interest quickens attention. Preach upon practical themes, pressing, present, personal matters, and you will secure an earnest hearing.”10

10. TELL STORIES

A good story attracts attention.
“I have often seen some poor fellow standing in the aisle at the Tabernacle. Why, he looks just like a sparrow that has got into a church, and cannot get out again! He cannot make out what sort of service it is; be begins to count how many people sit in the front row in the gallery, and all kinds of ideas pass through his mind. Now I want to attract his attention; how shall I do it? If I quote a text of Scripture, he may not know what it means, and may not be interested in it. Shall I put a bit of Latin into the sermon, or quote the original Hebrew or Greek of my text? That will not do for such a man. What shall I do? Ah! I know a story that will, I believe, just fit him.”11

11. PREACH CHRIST

Always preach the simple gospel.
“Of all I would wish to say this is the sum; my brethren, PREACH CHRIST, always and evermore. He is the whole gospel. His person, offices and work must be our one great, all-comprehending theme. The world needs still to be told of its Savior, and of the way to reach him… We are not called to proclaim philosophy and metaphysics, but the simple gospel. Man’s fall, his need of a new birth, forgiveness through an atonement and salvation as the result of faith, these are our battle-ax and weapons of war.”12

12. INVITE EVALUATION

Even the best preachers slide into bad habits.
“Get a friend to tell you your faults, or better still, welcome an enemy who will watch you keenly and sting you savagely. What a blessing such an irritating critic will be to a wise man, what an intolerable nuisance to a fool! Correct yourself diligently and frequently, or you will fall into errors unawares, false tones will grow and slovenly habits will form insensibly; therefore criticize yourself with unceasing care. Think nothing little by which you may be even a little more useful. But, gentlemen, never degenerate in this business into pulpit fops, who think gesture and voice to be everything.”13


  1. http://www.christianitytoday.com/history/issues/issue-29/charles-h-spurgeon-did-you-know.html
  2. Charles H. Spurgeon, Lectures To My Students, Kindle ed. (Fig, 2012), 45.
  3. Spurgeon, Lectures, 133.
  4. Spurgeon, Lectures, 135.
  5. Spurgeon, Lectures, 111.
  6. Spurgeon, Lectures, 17.
  7. Spurgeon, Lectures, 123.
  8. Spurgeon, Lectures, 138.
  9. Spurgeon, Lectures, 302.
  10. Spurgeon, Lectures, 138-39.
  11. Spurgeon, Lectures, 395.
  12. Spurgeon, Lectures, 79.
  13. Spurgeon, Lectures, 123.

You Will Have an Affair If

You Will Have an Affair If…

You Will Have an Affair If...
I want to see you have a marriage that moves to the next level, but it will become extremely damaged or completely ruined of you fall into adultery. This article exists to teach you how to affair-proof your marriage.
You will have an affair if…
  1. You have unguarded lust.
Lust is a part of our fallen nature. The Bible declares that in this world we all struggle with, how 1 John 2:16 puts it, the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes…not from the Father but is from the world.
It all started with a look. There is not a man reading this who does not relate to this matter. Men are drawn to look at the shape, form and beauty of a woman. Men are attracted by the eye.
Men are drawn by the eye. If my wife were to look out the window and see a naked man, she’d call the police!
  1. You have unresolved conflicts.
Every relationship is marked by conflict. If we fail to address things, we will become a victim of the injury of such conflict.
Dissonance creates distance, and distance will often cause people to stray.
2 Samuel 6:16 says, As the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal the daughter of Saul looked out of the window and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, and she despised him in her heart.
As the Ark of the Covenant came to Jerusalem, it was a day of triumph. It was a big day for Israel, and especially for David. Despite this truth, David’s wife Michal “despised him.”
Hebrews 12:15 teaches, See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.
This is important to notice from Luke’s writing in Hebrews: Unresolved conflict and bitterness lead to immorality.
  1. You have an underdeveloped self-esteem.
We are preoccupied with ourselves. Going back to David, remember that he is held responsible for his actions, but there is the Bathsheba part of the equation. She was exposed and then she was exploited.
I don’t know if this was an issue for her, but I do know that it is a regular issue for many who “stay on the market” today.
People dress, act and draw attention to themselves and are willing to risk great destruction by trying to bait attraction.
  1. You have unmet needs.
1 Corinthians 7:4–5 says, For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
There is a holiness and a wholeness to the sexual union of marriage. It is intended for the union and well-being of both parties in the marriage.
  1. You have an ungrateful attitude.
Failing to recognize what God and your mate have given you results in a lack of gratitude. This results in pride. Adultery is fueled by pride and lust.
Psalm 51:17 says, The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
I hope you will put some key things into action in order to protect your family from adultery…
RESOLVE to get honest with God and with yourself about the destructive power of lust. There is no such thing as innocent lust. You can’t avoid the look, but you don’t have to feed the lust.
Martin Luther once said, “You can’t always avoid the birds from flying overhead, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.”
REALIZE that seduction begins in the heart. David not only saw, but he contemplated it, then he reflected and explored. No one knew outwardly what David was entertaining inwardly.
Proverbs 4:23 says, Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.
RENEW your vows daily. I’m not talking about something spoken, but through your actions and overall life.
REFLECT on God’s faithfulness to you and His goodness to your family.
REMEMBER what we cover, God uncovers, but what we uncover, God covers.
Have any additional thoughts on affair-proofing your marriage? Let me know in the comment section below.

The 18 Things Strong Worship Leaders Avoid

The 18 Things Strong Worship Leaders Avoid

The 18 Things Strong Worship Leaders Avoid
Strong worship leaders develop good attitudes and habits. They keep their heart, mind and spirit right before God and man. Check out these things that strong leaders don’t do, so you can grow and improve.
1. They don’t miss out on a daily time with God
God is the reason for worship. He is the source of your success. Spending daily time with God, reading the word and in prayer, is the main key to being a strong worship leader.
2. They don’t pick songs that the congregation can’t sing and worship with
If your congregation is not singing, you are not doing what you are called to do. Are you picking songs the congregation can learn quickly? Are you repeating the songs enough for your congregation to learn them? Are you picking great songs? Is your congregation just singing or are they worshiping with the songs? Are you putting them in singable keys? 
3. They don’t choose a worship list without praying about it
The Holy Spirit will bring songs to your mind that you might ordinarily miss. How does God want to be worshiped this Sunday? What does He want to say to His church?
4. They don’t think that success comes from anywhere but God
Humility is a main ingredient to God moving in your life and ministry. Humility proceeds honor. God is the one who promotes or demotes you. Make sure all the honor goes to Him. God resists the proud.
5. They don’t alienate the sound person or tech team
Sound people and tech team members can make you or break you. They are usually some of the first people to arrive and the last to leave. A great tech team is worth their weight in gold. Make sure you treat them that way!
6. They don’t allow themselves to just sing songs without also worshiping God with their whole heart
It’s too easy to get caught up in making good music and forget the main thing. Worshiping God is the main thing. Make sure you practice enough so you can play and sing the music well and focus on worshiping God at the same time.
7. They don’t allow the band to be at the same level this year as last year
Developing and growing your team and yourself is one of the main responsibilities of a good leader. Learn to lead great rehearsals. Challenge yourself and the worship band to grow, learn and improve.
8. They don’t allow a rift to develop with the pastoral staff
Having a good relationship with your church leadership is paramount to a worship leader’s success. Go out of your way to spend the time to have good relationships.
9. They don’t let the week go by without a personal private time of worship
If you honor God in private, He will honor you in public by showing up in special ways. Never allow your worship to be just a public thing. Your private worship is one of the most important ways for you to grow in your walk with the Lord.
10. They don’t allow the worship band to just play music and not worship
The modern worship band is a team. You are only as strong as your weakest link. You need everyone on stage to be a worshiper. It communicates so much to your congregation.
11. They don’t spend time feeling sorry for themselves when things don’t go perfectly
Mistakes will happen. Learn from your mistakes but don’t allow them to bring you or the team down. You need to get over negative attitudes and problems quickly. Remember what Paul said: “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”
12. They don’t blame the band or other people when there are problems
Good leaders take the main blame for problems. They realize that with a better rehearsal and preparation, most problems can be avoided. Don’t play the blame game, take responsibility and do better next time.
13. They don’t worry about pleasing everyone
You will rarely please everyone. Do the best you can, make the best decisions you are capable of and move on. There will always be negative critics, but good leaders keep their ears open for good constructive criticism that will help them grow.
14. They don’t dwell on past mistakes and problems.
The devil loves to bring up your past mistakes and sins. Nobody is perfect, repent and let the past be in the past. Dwelling on your past mistakes can paralyze you. God wants you to forget the past and move on to the great things He has in store for you.
15. They don’t make the same mistakes over and over
You will learn more from your problems and mistakes than your successes. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Experience is one of the best teachers.
16. They don’t resent other people’s success
“Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.” We are here to build God’s kingdom not our own. When another brother or sister in the kingdom does well, rejoice with them. Resentment is a negative emotion that God doesn’t honor.
17. They don’t give up after a failure
Never, ever, give up. God is on your side. Everyone fails sometime. Just get up, learn and keep on going! Never, ever, give up!
18. They don’t expect immediate results
Good congregations and worship bands are not built in a day. God’s normal way is for us to build little by little, day by day. If you and your team keep improving day by day and week by week, good things will happen.
Bonus: They don’t put themselves in compromising situations
Maintaining moral purity in ministry will make you or break you. Too many have fallen into the trap of developing unhealthy relationships. Rick Warren has a great list titled “10 Commandments to Help Church Staff Maintain Moral Integrity.” We would be wise to follow his advice.
Question: What other things do strong worship leaders avoid?
Check out my new book: Leading Worship—Notes From a Grand Adventure. It is now available in Kindle or Soft Cover Editions. This is a great gift for the musician or worshiper in your life.

How to deal with the Holy Hangover

Today is Monday, better known as the “Holy Hangover” day among church leaders.
I once read a statistic that more resignations are given by church leaders on Monday than any other day of the week.
The more I travel the world, the more I realize there are way too many church leaders who are tired, discouraged and secretly wish they could just quit the ministry.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
A few weeks back, we sat down with Pastor Marty Schmidt of the Bridge Church to ask him how he deals with the Holy Hangover.
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Watch this interview right now as we dive into how to deal with and overcome discouragement (along with a host of other things). I can promise you will walk away understanding you are not alone, and find some hope to keep you in the game.
Don't let this opportunity pass you by. Block out a few minutes of time and watch this now!
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5 Church Growth Essentials From the Apostle Paul

5 Church Growth Essentials From the Apostle Paul

5 Church Growth Essentials From the Apostle Paul
When I was in seminary, Church Growth 101 was a required course. I took interest in the whole field and became a student of church growth. I read a pile of books and attended most of the big church growth conferences. Some of the principles I’ve applied have worked. And some have failed royally. When we look at the early church, though, obviously they did something right. They grew exponentially. In this post I suggest five church growth essentials from the Apostle Paul that we see from his first missionary journey.

Church Growth 101 From the Apostle Paul

First, a bit of background. At this point in the early church, described in Acts 13-14, we see three significant movements: the main church leader moving to Paul from Peter, the target group for evangelism shifting from primarily Jewish to Gentile, and a move from a rural focus to an urban focus. Paul and Barnabas visited six cities on this first missionary journey.

Principle 1: Rely on the Holy Spirit.

In these two chapters we see the obvious work of the Holy Spirit. Ultimately, while not dismissing good leadership, thorough strategic planning and great outreach events, only God by His Spirit grows the church (Col. 2.19, 1 Cor. 3.7). In chapter 13 we see the work of the Holy Spirit in several ways.
  1. He was involved in the selection of Paul and Barnabas to go on this missionary journey (13.2).
  2. He planted in their hearts the desire to go (13.4).
  3. He gave Paul great courage to confront a wizard who wasn’t too happy that Paul was evangelizing his boss (13.6-12).
So, if you want to see your church grow, make sure the Holy Spirit is guiding and directing your plans and decisions.

Principle 2: Evangelize through your most natural relationships.

When Paul would enter a city, he would make a beeline to the synagogue. Why? Because he was a Jew and Jews would be there. Their common Jewishness bound them together. It was also natural for him to go there first because the Jews were already religiously minded and Paul could easily talk about what was common between them: the Old Testament scriptures, prophecy and the longed for Messiah.
One of the most fruitful ways to grow the church is to find those most open to the gospel, often those already in our circle of relationships.

Principle 3: Stay flexible in your approach.

Paul tailored his evangelism to the group he was with. His method of operation with the Jews was to go to the synagogue and start with the Old Testament.
However, with the Gentiles who had no Jewish reference frame, he took a different approach. In one very pagan city they visited on this missionary journey, they healed a crippled boy (14.8-18). The word spread. A crowd gathered. And because of a Greek legend, they believed that Paul and Barnabas were the Greek gods Zeus and Hermes.
50 years prior, a Latin poet had written about a local legend that Zeus and Hermes, disguised as mortals, had once visited the hill country near this city and they weren’t given hospitality. Thus, Zeus and Hermes destroyed the homes of those who refused hospitality. Now, the people thought that Zeus and Hermes had revisited them again (because of the miracle Paul and Barnabas had done) and wanted to avoid a similar fate. So they responded with wild fanaticism by offering sacrifices to Paul and Barnabas in order to appease the Greek gods.
Paul was shocked. Yet, he did not quote the Old Testament to them, as he did to the Jews. He appealed to what they knew, nature and natural law. He spoke of God being the God of creation and the general favor he shows everyone through the rain he provides that waters mankind’s crops.
Paul flexed his approach toward the particular people he was evangelizing. With the Jews he used one approach and with the Gentiles another.
It behooves church leaders to know their communities and to use flexible approaches rather than cookie cutter methods we might learn in a book or at a conference.

Principle 4: Deepen your spiritual roots.

Growing a church is not an either-or proposition, evangelism or discipleship. It is both-and. Paul certainly shared the Gospel. But in these two chapters he’s also encouraging believers to send their roots deep in the Lord. In fact, when the church in Antioch sent Paul and Barnabas on this trip, the church is practicing two spiritual disciplines: prayer and fasting.
Later Paul encouraged them to continue in the grace of God and encouraged them to remain true to the faith. He was challenging them toward spiritual formation.
I recently learned a great insight about spiritual formation.
Everybody IS being spiritually formed. It’s just a matter of whether or not it is intentional or haphazard.
Intentional spiritual formation means that we intentionally seek, through spiritual disciplines, to be formed in the image of Jesus.
Unintentional spiritual formation means that we are being passively shaped by the experiences, circumstances and people around us. Such spiritual formation yields little good fruit, and potentially, bad fruit.
So, growing a church requires that leaders give attention and intention to spiritual formation.

Principle 5: Don’t bend to resistance to the Gospel.

Throughout history, when the Gospel changed lives, resistance was sure to follow. Paul repeatedly faced resistance to his work, while at the same time many responded positively to the Gospel. In chapter 13.49-50, many came to faith while at the same time those in opposition began a smear campaign against Paul. Did he and Barnabas leave town? No, they spent considerable time there.
In another city (15.1-2) the people stoned Paul and left him for dead. Fortunately, he didn’t die. Did he leave town? No. The Scriptures say that he went back into that very town.
So, when you see God bless your church with growth, don’t be surprised to experience resistance as well, sometimes even from within.
God wants the church to grow. He wants your church to grow. And He will grow His church as we apply biblical church growth principles we see in the book of Acts.
What other biblical church growth principles should we add to this list?

How to Make Your Church Feel Smaller Than It Is…and Why You Should

How to Make Your Church Feel Smaller Than It Is…and Why You Should

How to Make Your Church Feel Smaller Than It Is…and Why You Should
Today’s post is a guest post adapted from my good friend Rich Birch’s brand new book, Unreasonable Churches: 10 Churches Who Zagged When Others Zigged and Saw More Impact Because of It, for which I had the privilege of writing the forward. 
Paul Lawrence worked on the assembly line at the Hyundai plant in Montgomery, Alabama. As he watched a YouTube video on his phone about basic tennis lessons during one of his breaks, another worker, Jamal Henry, overheard the video and sat down across from him.
“Sounds like you’re a tennis player,” Jamal said with a smile. Paul looked up from his phone with a grunt. “Well, I don’t know that I would say that. But tennis is my thing. I’m trying to be more active, you know.” The two men introduced themselves and Jamal invited his coworker to come check out the group he played tennis with every Tuesday night.
Paul was soon playing every week with Jamal’s tennis group, and he also accepted Jamal’s invitation to come with him to church.
What began in a factory break room would be completed in the last place Paul ever expected to go—an “unreasonable church”—a massive church of 38,000 and growing, yes, but also a church that knows how to bring people together through small groups of all shapes and interests.
Many churches have small groups, but they are typically pre-set types initiated by the leadership, and while these groups can reach many…they don’t reach all.
What if we’ve been managing small groups in our congregations completely wrong? What if there was another way that was even more effective?
Whatever your church size is at the moment, here are three reasons why you might want to try a new approach to small groups in your own congregation.

1. People Learn Best When They Work and Play Together

Most small groups meet in churches on Sunday mornings, or on weeknights in a home, focused on Bible study. There’s no doubt studying God’s Word is extremely important, but something special occurs when we combine our desire for pursuing a closer relationship with God with our desire for a relationship with others.
Though it may seem like a pretty hands-off way to train new leaders, this way of learning within the context of playing and working together is not new. Jesus practiced this leadership method often.
Think about the original 12 disciples Jesus chose; despite lacking the background, education and vocational aptitude for the huge enterprise they would undertake, Jesus devoted himself to them. He spent time with that small motley group of men, young and uneducated, on a daily basis. Then, after His death and resurrection, He left them with a commission to “go and make disciples of all nations.”
These “group leaders” received only a mere three years of training before they began leading their own “groups,” and most of it occurred over meals and while traveling. But these very first small groups were catalysts that changed the world, with the Holy Spirit as their “coach” along the way.
The very day after Jesus was baptized, John the Baptizer saw Jesus and said to His disciples, “Look, the Lamb of God!” (John 1:35, NIV). When two of John’s disciples heard this, they followed Jesus, who invited them to “come…and you will see” (John 1:39).
This is what Jamal did with Paul Lawrence; he invited him to “come and see.”
When Paul first attended the “Drop Shots Tennis Group,” he connected with people who put God first in their lives—not tennis—and his life changed forever.

2. People Want to Feel Connected to People

In 2001, Chris Hodges planted Church of the Highlands in Birmingham, Alabama. Since then, the church has experienced stunning growth with 38,000 people attending weekly services online and at 14 campuses.
The need for people to feel connected to others runs deep and universal. One study revealed that even being ignored by a group a person wants nothing to do with has the potential to make them feel left out! How much more, then, will someone feel left out when they’re not connected to the people they worship with at church?
So how does a church like Church of the Highlands keep track of 38,000 individuals, when it’s comparable in size to that of a small city? Even spread out over 14 locations, organized small groups are essential to keep the people of Highlands connected to each other. But just the training and organizing alone of so many groups requires an army of logistical leaders. Small churches know the challenge of recruiting and training small group leaders; in larger churches, it can require multiple staff positions to organize church members into groups and ensure group leaders are trained and equipped.
So when you’re dealing with tens of thousands of people, how do you find enough niches to fit each individual?

3. People Are the Most Passionate When They’re the Most Interested.

Pastor Chris and Church of the Highlands developed the concept of Free Market Small Groups to deal with the challenges inherent in small group formation, which emphasizes trust in God’s working, mentorship and empowerment of their members.
In the Free Market system of small groups, the members who host small groups choose the topic of study, when and where to meet, and what their group does. The church doesn’t dictate what the small groups will look like and doesn’t create a complicated structure and meeting agenda for these groups.
The Free Market small group idea works because the group members are more passionate about their group and what their group is doing. The group leaders are interested and experienced in the focus of the group, and they’re enthusiastic about inviting others to join their group. The group members and leaders may naturally have more contacts in the areas of their interest and have more success in asking new people to come. When members are interested and engaged in the group, they are also less likely to become burned out.
Perhaps the best measurement of the Free Market small group model is the high rate of small group attendance. Church of the Highlands respects the gifts the members bring to the church, and they recognize that true community comes from meeting and working with like-minded people. They also trust in the work of the Holy Spirit to continue to work in their members’ lives within the context of the church’s weekly biblical instruction. By providing a coach, the leaders aren’t left hanging, but neither are the leaders overwhelmed with hours of pre-training.
The result? Small group leaders who feel appreciated, empowered, enthusiastic and equipped. Just as “one size fits all” doesn’t always fit everyone, one type of small group doesn’t always fit, either.
What do you think about the idea of a “Free Market” small group? Do you do something similar in your own church? Would you consider it? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Adapted from Unreasonable Churches by Rich Birch. Rich has served for more than 20 years in ministry including one of the first multisite churches in North America. He blogs and podcasts weekly at UnSeminary.com

Monkeys and Maturity: How Not to Grow Spiritually

Monkeys and Maturity: How Not to Grow Spiritually

Monkeys and Maturity: How Not to Grow Spiritually
When I start evangelism class each semester I like to ask students a question like this: Why do so many believers sing with such passion on Sundays but fail to open their mouths to coworkers on Monday?
There are a variety of reasons, but a school teacher named Heather in my Tuesday night class noted a primary one: “We practice singing every week,” she observed.
It’s true. Every week we sing together. Singing songs and hymns and spiritual songs is a common experience we all share. But this also signifies a larger issue, and that’s the primary way we learn to grow as disciples. How do we?
Monkey-see, monkey do. We learn to grow based on what we see our peer group of Christians doing. If your closest Christian friends talk about reading the Word daily, you are more likely to do so. If prayer matters to them, it will matter to you. If your group has a passion for an issue like adoption, caring for orphans will likely be a part of your faith development. And this is not a bad thing. It’s just not a balanced thing.
Try this exercise sometime: Read the book of Acts with a notebook at your side. Write down those things that seemed an obvious priority for those early believers. If you made a list, advancing the gospel no matter the obstacles would rank at or near the top, right?
A basic reason we don’t share our faith regularly is this: We don’t share our faith regularly. It’s not something most of us practice a lot, like singing, and thus it’s not something we talk about a lot.
What if we made telling others about Jesus as much a part of our practice as singing? I think we don’t talk to the lost world about Jesus because we don’t talk to each other enough about Him. What if talking about Jesus, the change he makes, our growing relationship with Christ, and what we are learning and applying about following him became a common topic?
I know this: When I’m around a group of believers who regularly talk about a coworker with whom they are witnessing, or meeting up with a neighbor to share Christ, or similar encounters, it makes me more aware of my own opportunities to tell others about Jesus. I talk a lot about praying for servers and speaking to them about Jesus, for instance. It’s not a surprise that yesterday a student (and one of our young pros at my church) told me with joy about facing her fears and speaking with a server. She had a great conversation!
Let’s think about what we talk about the most, and let’s make sure in our conversations and our practice the great commission is more than the great intention. Let our monkey-see, monkey-do approach be replaced by intentionally following the life and teachings of Jesus.

8 Traits I See in Good Worship Leaders

8 Traits I See in Good Worship Leaders

8 Traits I See in Good Worship Leaders
As I visit churches in my various roles, I’m privileged to worship with many different congregations. The styles aren’t always the same, but I can tell you some of the common traits I find in worship leaders who catch my attention. I know these thoughts are just my opinion, but here are some of those things:
  1. The worship leader enjoys what he’s doing. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched as a worship leader drudged his way through the task. When the leader loves to worship, on the other hand, I love worshiping along with him.
  2. He smiles. This trait goes along with the previous one. When you love honoring God, your face shows it.
  3. He makes the Word of God central in worship. Perhaps he reads the Word, or maybe he quotes it as a transition. The songs themselves also echo the Word of God, and the leader helps me prepare to hear the Word.
  4. He leads well, but without show. I’m not even sure how to describe this trait, but I know it when I don’t see it. Showmanship and God-centered worship are contradictory.
  5. He chooses songs that are singable. I’m not a musician, so I tread softly here—but I think that some songs that work well for a praise team don’t always work well for a congregation.
  6. He teaches me songs I might not know. He’s aware that some in the congregation don’t know every song he chooses, so he helps us hear them and sing them. This one’s especially important to me when I can see the lyrics on a screen but don’t know the melody.
  7. He builds prayer into the worship time. The combination of singing God’s praises and speaking to Him in prayer is a powerful one for me.
  8. He leads with excellence. You can usually tell when the preparation for leading others to worship is lacking.
Again, these thoughts are only mine, often based on only one experience in any given church. But, sometimes we get only one opportunity to lead others to worship God. What other traits would you add to this list?

When the Pastor Has an Affair

When the Pastor Has an Affair

When The Pastor Has an Affair
It happens too frequently.
It can be the lead pastor or any church staff member.
And too many churches do not handle such tragedy well.
But many churches do. Allow me to share some of the best responses I have heard from churches that have gone through this tragic time.
  1. Terminate with compassion. Almost without exception, the pastor is terminated. But termination does not have to be without compassion. The pastor’s family will need financial provisions; thus, many churches provide compassionate severances. And though pastors have full responsibility for their sins, they are hurting as well. Tough love and compassionate love are in order here.
  2. Don’t forget the pastor’s family. They have felt the greatest amount of betrayal. They are humiliated and hurt. This person they likely held in high esteem has fallen hard. The family needs compassion, love, attention and counseling. Many church members do not know what to say, so they say nothing. I know one church member who sent the spouse and the children a simple handwritten note: “I have not forgotten you. I am here for you. I am praying for you.” It made all the difference in the world.
  3. Be forthright with the congregation. The rumors are often worse than reality. You don’t have to give the sordid details. But the church needs to know the pastor was terminated because of moral failure. Speak to the congregation succinctly, honestly and compassionately.
  4. Provide resources for reconciliation. God’s ideal plan is for the couple to stay together—to make it through this terrible ordeal. The church can be an instrument of that process back to reconciliation. The church can provide the resources so that the couple can get strong Christian counseling. The process should also be one that seeks restoration for the pastor. That restoration may not mean that pastors are restored to their former office; it does mean the path should include a way to be restored to the congregation.
  5. Don’t forget the pain of the congregation. Many of them feel betrayed. Most of them feel hurt. Find ways to minister to the members for the next several months as they deal with this issue.
  6. Begin a ministry of prayer for this situation. I have been so encouraged to see some churches actually deal with this issue through a specific prayer ministry. One church offered a prayer and reconciliation time after every service. It only lasted a few minutes, and attendance was totally voluntary. But the responses were incredible, both in numbers attending and in the way people were impacted. The church began this ministry with a stated goal of continuing it for three months. It made a huge difference in the healing impact on the church.
When the pastor has an affair, it is a tragedy of huge proportions. But the church can respond biblically, redemptively and compassionately.
It the midst of this awful situation, the church has the opportunity truly to be the body of Christ.

Understanding God’s Love from Every Book of the Bible

Jennifer Rothschild: Understanding God’s Love from Every Book of the Bible

Jennifer Rothschild
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Jennifer Rothschild is a prolific author, speaker, and Bible study teacher. She has also been blind since the age of 15. A wife and a mother, Jennifer certainly doesn’t let blindness hinder her calling to ministry or her faith in God. She is the author of 14 books and Bible studies, including the bestsellers Lessons I Learned in the Dark, Self Talk, Soul Talk, and her newest 66 Ways God Loves You.

Key Questions:

How do you watch for the love of God in a place you don’t expect to find it?
As an incredibly busy ministry leader, how do you find time to spend time in the Word?
What misconceptions about God’s love are you constantly working to teach against?

Key Quotes:

“The story that God has written in my life through blindness has…been about how God’s taught me to trust him more than I trust my feelings.”
“God really does make it well with our souls even when it’s not well with our circumstances.”
“Whenever the word of God is in our hearts and in our minds, then we’re experiencing the love of God in the deepest way.”
“I wanted to un-intimidate the Bible.”
“In Genesis, God fashions you with his hands. He spoke the world into being, but when it came for him to create a human being, he used his hands. That’s an expression of the love of God.”
“In Exodus, God delivers me from slavery. In Leviticus, he gives me access to himself. In Numbers, he builds cities of refuge to protect me.”
“I think sometimes we misunderstand how God expresses his love. So if it doesn’t fit on a Hallmark card or feel real warm and fuzzy, we think that’s not the love of God. But God’s love is so complete and holy that he expresses it—sometimes—in ways that may feel harsh to us.”
“God’s love, which is unfailing, unconditional is really counterintuitive to us.
“God loves us because he is love. Not because we deserve it, earn it. And because we can’t deserve it or earn it, we also cannot lose it.”
“When we say ‘I’m not worthy of God’s love’…what we’re really saying is ‘He’s not worthy of my trust to believe that he is who he says he is.’”
“I’m going to receive the love of God, even if it’s by faith—having nothing to do with my feelings.”
“That’s what God wants from us: He wants our devotion—not our duty.”

Mentioned in the Show:

66 Ways God Loves You
Lessons I Learned in the Dark
Self Talk, Soul Talk
Invisible: How You Feel Is Not Who You Are
womensministry.net