Leadership & Market Place Ministry

Sunday, September 25, 2016

4 Questions to Ask when you Face Conflict

by Charles Stone

Everybody faces conflict. It’s nothing new. From the cosmic conflict between Lucifer and God before creation to the conflicts in the early church to the conflicts Jesus often faced with the Jewish legalists, it’s a given in life. Conflict is not sin in itself, but sin can cause it and we can sin in how we respond to it. Wise leaders, however, know how to manage conflict when it comes. 4 good questions arise from Acts 15 in the account of the early church’s conflict with those who believed that non-Jews (Gentiles) could become Christians, but only after they first became Jews.

Choose to Resolve or Continue Conflicts - Conflict Resolution

4 good questions to ask when you face conflict:

If the early church had not resolved the conflict with the Judaizers, the results could have been disastrous. In a similar way, when conflict arises in our churches, unless we wisely resolve them, we can lose momentum, people, and resources.

Question 1: The conviction question. Is the conflict you are facing a matter of deep conviction that you can’t resolve through personal prayer and processing?

In the early church’s case, the issue of salvation (was it Jesus plus works or Jesus plus nothing) was a significant issue. It could not be overlooked. Paul and Barnabas had to deal with it.
Many issues are simply issues of personal preference, hurt feelings, or simple misunderstandings that we can pray through and move on. We don’t need to confront every person over every issue. However, some issues are too significant to overlook.
I suggest these five thresholds that can help you determine if you need to take it further than prayer and personal processing.

The issue is seriously dishonoring Christ. In some sense God’s reputation is being dishonored or damaged. In the Judaizers case it was well within this threshold.
This issue is damaging your relationship with that person. Were you not to try to resolve the issue, it could seriously hurt and undermine your relationship with that person.
The issue is hurting others involved.
The issue is causing hurt to the offender.
You just can’t shake it through prayer.

If the issue meets one of these thresholds, then take it further.

Question 2: The counsel question. Do I need a third party to help?

In Matthew 18.15-18, Jesus says to first go to the person one-on-one if you have a conflict with someone. Usually that’s the proper procedure. But sometimes I believe it’s appropriate to bring in a wise third party even before you do that.
Paul and Barnabas felt it necessary to go to Jerusalem to include the elders and apostles there for them to weigh in on this issue. They needed wisdom.
Sometimes we do need to include the counsel of others even before we escalate a conflict to a one-on-one conversation. What might justify doing that?

You need wisdom from an objective third party to help you discern it you really need to confront the other party.
You need wisdom to know how to confront the other party.
You need to be encouraged to confront the other party and a wise person can give you the confidence to take that step.

If you do bring in a third party, check your motives. Make sure you’re not doing this to make the other party look bad or to win the person you’re seeking counsel from over to your side.

Question 3: The compromise question. Do I need to defer in some way in this conflict?

Often the issue is not so much about what the other person did to you, but about your role in the conflict. Sometimes we should defer, yield, or let go of the issue. Compromise never means watering down truth or your convictions. Neither does not mean you are weak.
In the case facing the early church, the Judaizers had to give up their wrong notion that becoming a follower of Jesus required that a person had to become a Jew first. And the Gentile believers had to yield to some of their Jewish Christian brothers on some dietary issues that could have a caused a rift in their relationships with them.
A sign of a mature follower of Jesus is loving compromise.

Question 4: The clarity issue. Have I clarified the issue?

Often conflicts get so muddied that both parties loose sight of the real issue. The conflict reflects something deeper or even something not related to the ‘presenting’ issue.
The early church clearly clarified their issue by appealing to history, to the facts, and to God’s Word. They dialogued, listened to each other, and even recorded in a letter what they had resolved.
When they clarified the issue they presented a united front, avoided a split, and encouraged each other. When we truly resolve conflict in the church, everybody feels a sense of relief, just like the early church did.
Some when you deal with conflict, make sure you clarify the real issue.
These four questions based on how the early church resolved a conflict can guide leaders toward successful conflict resolution in their churches.
What else has helped you resolve conflict in your church?
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4 Of The Primary Ways North Point Community Church Measures Success

Any regular reader of this site knows I am a raving fan of MAG Bookkeeping and their Fully-Engaged Podcast. They recently hit a grand slam home run with one of their episodes. Their guest was Clay Scroggins, one of the campus pastors for North Point Community Church. MAG’s very own Ivy Sprague wrote an incredible recap which I want to share with you. If you have not signed up for the Fully-Engaged Podcast, click HERE and do so now. BTW, I will be an upcoming guest.
And if your church or business needs bookkeeping assistance, MAG is the best group available. Click HERE to gather some initial information. And now onto Ivy’s recap:
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North Point Ministries was founded by Andy Stanley in 1995 and now has six churches in the Atlanta Area, including North Point Community Church (NPCC). Clay Scroggins, our most recent podcast guest, is the lead pastor and leads the staff of NPCC in its day-to-day operations. Each week, more than 30,000 people attend services at the North Point Ministries churches.
It’s pretty clear then that North Point has seen a lot of success. Some of that success has been very natural and organic, but Clay says they also do a lot of work at it. For starters, they struggled with how and why to improve their online experience. Originally, as many churches do, they looked at people attending church online as competition. Wouldn’t they rather have them in church? But they worked hard to improve the online experience and now fully embrace it. As it has gotten better and better, those who attend online have actually become more and more engaged.
That takes us to another area they work hard on: engagement. The church experience — online and in person — has changed a lot in recent years, which means the definition of engagement has needed to change as well. Today, if someone is engaged with the church, that is a way that North Point defines success.
There are four levels of engagement they consider and measure:

Is someone inviting other people?
Are they serving?
Are they in a group?
Are they giving?

In regards to attending church online, someone may prefer that, but they may also be giving, serving and attending a group. So that person is very engaged. Hopefully the people who attend in-person are engaged in other ways as well.
With a church ministry this large, obviously North Point relies on volunteers to serve in many ways. This is true at many churches, but North Point has a very active evaluation process that Clay says involves reaching deep into the organization. They did a recent survey with classic questions about communication, connectedness, what people like the most/least, what could be improved, etc. Out of about 5,500 volunteers, they has around 1,900 respondents and about 5,000 write-in comments. Clay says they feel that surveys like this are very successful in helping them clearly know where and how they can improve.
Conducting surveys doesn’t just happen. It takes work, but the results are significant. A church won’t know much about its success unless it asks the hard questions, analyzes the results and moves forward with that knowledge as North Point does.

Click HERE or on the image to the left and as a free gift for subscribing to this site, you can receive my new Ebook 1869 Leadership Quotes: Timeless Truths From 2015 Global Leadership Summit, That Church, REACT and Catalyst Conferences. If applied, these insights will make you an exponentially better leader. Enjoy!!!

9 Signals Your Hormones May be Hijacking your Leadership

by Charles Stone

God gave us a magnificent creation called the brain.Weighing less than three pounds, it wields incredible influence over how well leaders lead. Although we usually call the brain a computer, it’s more like a pharmacy that constantly dispenses drugs (hormones and neurotransmitters) into our bodies and brains which affect our emotions, our thinking, and our leadership. A new field called neuroleadership is helping leaders understand how brain function relates to leadership. It’s a burgeoning field pastors and leaders should pay attention to. My most recent book, Brain-Savvy Leaders: the Science of Significant Ministry, intersects brain science with biblical principles on leadership.

Are your hormones hijacking your leadership?

Brain researchers have discovered that sustained high levels of hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline affect our ability to think clearly, creatively, and decisively, thus diminishing our ability to lead most effectively.
And how do sustained high levels of these hormones get into our system?
They get there from chronic anxiety, when we face long-term stress. It’s akin to a car accelerator getting stuck and revving at high rpm’s for a long period of time. If it continues, the engine will wear out prematurely. In the same way when leaders and pastors stay stressed 24/7, their anxiety, and thus their hormones, get stuck at a high level which dramatically reduces their ability to lead.
Take this simple assessment to discover how many chronic anxiety markers are currently in your life.

I react and act impulsively when people disagree with me.
I assume the worst and connect dots where there are none.
I easily get defensive.
I don’t seem to be as creative as I once was.
I often find myself in a mental and emotional fog.
I lose perspective easily.
I don’t listen well to others, not because I don’t want to, but because my mind wanders and can’t focus.
I find it difficult to concentrate.
I find that others often mirror my defensiveness and reactivity.

How many markers did you find?
If more than two, your hormone accelerator is probably stuck and you aren’t leading at your best. The solution to reducing stress can be a bit complicated. But a wise pastor once advised me to regular take breaks. He shared these three simple statements that have helped me keep my stress hormones in check.

Divert Daily (take time out to reflect and be still before God every day).
Withdraw Weekly (take a weekly sabbath).
Abandon Annually (take a vacation every year when you truly disconnect).

How have you kept your stress hormones under control?
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22 Quotes From Alabama Head Coach Nick Saban On Being A Leader

Are you ready for some football? Absolutely!!! On Wednesday, July 19th Alabama Crimson Tide head football coach Nick Saban appeared on ESPN’s First Take (see video above). Winner of five national championships and four in the last seven years, Coach Saban is a wealth of knowledge regarding the subject of leadership. He is arguably the greatest coach in this history of college football.
Coach Saban discussed a myriad of topics including complacency, the value of competition, and the team’s battle for starting quarterback.
The following are 22 Quotes And Lessons From Alabama head coach Nick Saban:

You try to avoid complacency. When you have success, people think I’m supposed to get some time off…They start to resent the hard work. They start to question some of the principles and values that helped them become successful.
Complacency, which creates a blatant disregard for doing things correctly, which is very important if you want to have success.
The off-season is a work in progress.
Losing to Ole Miss (last season) is probably the one thing that helped us the most to continue to develop the kind of team chemistry we needed.
What we’re most concerned about is the well-being of our players.
“Win the team.” You win the players over (as a quarterback) by your performance, your ability to play with some consistency, (and) to execute. They develop confidence in you. You develop confidence in them and that’s where the chemistry comes from that’s necessary to score points and execute in a consistent fashion.
You find when you play a good opponent early, “Where are we?”
The quarterback doesn’t always have to win the game for us.
The most important thing when you have a quarterback battle is quarterbacks focus on what they need to do and not what the other guy is doing.

The following are 13 additional quotes from Coach Saban’s appearance on SportsCenter earlier in the day:

When you come off a vacation, you’ve had enough golf, you’ve have enough rest time, I’ve got to get back to being the boss.
We’ve just become the target. When you win the championship everybody circles that game on your schedule and you get everybody’s best game. You have to prepare yourself to be ready for that.
We don’t want our quarterback to feel he has to win the game. You don’t him to feel like you have to force things to win the game. If you execute with the players around you and do your job, and make good choices, we’re going to have a chance to be successful.
Every team has to develop their own identity, their own personality, and that gets done by everybody accepting their role to make this team better.
You’ve got to forget about the past and focus on what’s happening in the future.
Regardless of your circumstance, you have some expectation for what you want to try to accomplish.
You have to focus on the things you need to do to accomplish the goals you have rather than the expectation. The expectation can create a tremendous amount of anxiety and a loss of focus on the things you need to do to have the success.
The key to what we try to do is get our players to have the discipline to execute the things they need to do to accomplish the goals they have. This gets hard to do because of external circumstances.
I probably get more (enjoyment) when I see a player have success.
A 60-10 game. You play the (championship) game for 60 minutes and the 10 minutes after the game define something you remember for the rest of your life.
I don’t know if we did anything to help him (new Georgia head coach and former Alabama assistant Kirby Smart) but I know he did a lot to help us.
I think it’s very, very important that everybody on our team understands that we have a responsibility and obligation to be someone that someone can emulate. Do positive things that create value for you as a person.
To show that you care is a big part of being a leader which means you’re willing to help someone else.

For more from this incredible leader and other top college coaches, click the following:

How Do You Turn The Ordinary Into Extraordinary By Ike Reighard

This evening I had the wonderful opportunity of attending a session conducted by the incomparble senior pastor of Piedmont Church Ike Reighard. As part of an event put on by INJOY Stewardship Solutions called Capital Campaign University, Ike gave an incredible message on turning ordinary things in your life into extraordinary things.
As a special gift to everyone reading these posts, INJOY Stewardship Solutions offering a complimentary downloadable Ebook entitled “The Absolute Best Quotes From The 2016 ReThink Conference.” Click Here to Download this Free Resource!
Enjoy these 57 Leadership Quotes On Turning The Ordinary Into Extraordinary By Ike Reighard:

There’s something about being around visionaries.
You know it’s a bad day when you read your obituary in the newspaper.
You’re trying to take money and turn it into a legacy.
The first job of a leader is to define reality.
You define reality and then you inspire hope.
“If you really want to measure the true success of a man or woman, you don’t measure it by their position. You measure it by the obstacles they had to overcome.” – Booker T. Washington
I’m here to inspire you. I’m here to breath life into your dream.
Stewardship is embracing responsibility by managing what isn’t really yours to then bless others.
Have any of you ever been in a church that smelled like death?
It’s hard to get good room dynamics in a room that sits 1,600 people with 200 in attendance.
4,500 churches a year close their doors.
Scripture never wastes any motion.
Do you want Jesus in your boat tonight?
It’s one thing for Jesus to speak to the crowd but it’s another thing for Jesus to speak to you.
A lot of things you have learned in the past are keeping you down today.
The biggest critics of innovation today were the innovators yesterday.
You don’t want to be the expert on what used to work.
You want a fresh encounter.
There is a huge difference between a spectator and a participator.
Most folks don’t want to go to the deep water.
When Jesus becomes your partner it changes everything.
The only thing that limited the size of their catch was the size of their nets.
When you get ready to spend the money the critics come out.
There is nothing more good than reaching people for Christ.
A rising tide lifts all the ships.
Every time a church is doing well it lifts all the churches in the area.
“If I would have given people what they wanted I would have given them a faster horse.” – Henry Ford
It says exactly 365 times in Scripture, “Fear not.”
If you want to be able to steward and lead properly you must continually be in the presence of God.
You will never rise above in public more than what you are in private with God.
Charisma gets you into the room. Character keeps you in the room. Competency gets you in the next room. Life is a series of moving from room to room.
Never let the somewhere be greater than the Someone.
It’s still the Word of God that changes people’s lives.
If we’re going to go from the ordinary to extraordinary you need a fresh word from God.
If you want to lead and take the responsibility that God has given to you, we are not the owners we are the managers.
The people of your church are expecting you to get a word from God.
People do not follow the sound of an uncertain trumpet.
Nobody’s going follow what you think God says.
You don’t have to understand what God says, just be faithful.
I became a Christian at 22 years old.
There’s going to be times that God just says this is what you need to do.
Whenever God asks you to do something no matter how simple, just do it.
When one church is dying and one church is flourishing on the same street, God has gotten in the boat of that church.
Our defining moment in life is when we wrestle between “Am I going to be obedient” or “Am I going to be disobedient?”
The greatest doors of opportunity swing on little hinges called obedience.
If you want to change ordinary to extraordinary never let yesterday’s failures rob you from tomorrow’s victories.
When God shows up you need to sit down and shut up.
On the greatest day of fishing in the life of Simon Peter, he got down on his knees.
Jesus showed up at his workplace.
Don’t ever take credit for only what God can do.
Don’t take pride for something you know is something far beyond your ability.
Whenever God does a miracle in your life, make sure you take other people in your life to be a part of it.
You cannot ever take hold of what God has for you until you let go off what you want to hold onto.
Following Jesus requires us to go deeper and wider than we’ve ever gone before.
Don’t let go of your dreams.
The day your memories are greater than your dreams, you’re dead in the water.
“Your level of trust will determine your speed of change.” – Stephen Covey, Jr.

More info to come tomorrow.

Click HERE or on the image to the left and as a free gift for subscribing to this site, you can receive my new Ebook 1269 Leadership Quotes: Timeless Truths From 2016’s Top Christian Leadership Conferences. Featured are the Johnny Hunt Mens Conference, ReThink Leadership, Orange and Leadercast Conferences among others. If applied, these insights will make you an exponentially better leader. Enjoy!!!

A Simple Exercise that will Infuse Life into your Staff

by Charles Stone

Recently our church staff held our annual in-house evaluation retreat when we reviewed the prior year’s goals and plans. God had given us a good year and we wanted not only to discuss how we could improve, but rejoice in His blessings. After we prayed, we did a simple exercise that infused life into each of us. Here’s what we did that I guarantee will infuse life into your staff, whether they are paid or volunteer.

Gratitude changes everything - inspirational text on a vintage slate blackboard

This will infuse life into your staff.

We have nine on our ministry staff and eight were present that day. I asked everyone to write down the names of each staff member sitting around the table. I then asked them to write down one quality about each person that they most appreciated. That was the easy part. The uncomfortable, yet life-giving part came next.
I then asked each person to look at one individual and tell him or her what they appreciated most about that person. We went around the table while each of us stayed on the ‘hot seat’ (maybe there is a better term for it). Then, one by one, we each looked directly at that staff person and told him or her what we most appreciated about them.
It was an incredibly life affirming experience.
Tears were shed.
We become vulnerable.
Each of us got blessed.
Our retreat took on an incredibly open and affirming tone.
It was amazing.
Gratefulness expressed to others is not only biblical, but it brings with it many practical personal benefits as well. Science is now telling us what the Bible has for centuries: showing gratitude, saying thanks, and affirming others is really good. Here’s what we’re learning about gratefulness.

Gratefulness stimulates Christ-honoring behavior, called pro-social behavior by psychologists.
Gratefulness can actually make us happier.
Gratefulness can help decrease the power of materialism.
Gratefulness can help us learn to forgive more consistently.
Gratefulness can help us sleep better.
Gratefulness can make us feel better physically because it evokes the production of two neurotransmitters in our brains, dopamine and serotonin, involved in reward and well-being, respectively.

So, when we experience and show gratefulness to others or in our hearts, many benefits result.
Two great Scriptures remind us how important gratefulness is.

“I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds” (Psalms 9:1).
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

Try this with your staff (or even with your family) and experience how life giving it can be.
What are some other life-giving exercises have you used with your staff?
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Discipleship: The one person you need to be looking out for

Hey guys!
I cannot even believe how awesome the weather has been here in the Pacific Northwest. Where did we get this reputation for raining all the time?!
But autumn is coming and Tina and I have our eye on the discipleship ball big time. How about you?
When it comes to discipleship, one of the hardest things we often face is knowing who specifically we are supposed to be discipling. In this post and video I’ll help you figure that out for your context.
Discipleship: The One Person You Need to Worry About
Where to Find Them and What to Look Out For

Who's that person in your life that is leaning in to relationship and faith? We all have them; they are friends, co-workers, neighbors or extended family members who just sort of…like us.
[Continue reading...]
In this together,
–Caesar