11 Leadership Lessons I Have Learned From Failure

11 Leadership Lessons I Have Learned From Failure

Failure is a part of life.  It is not a question of if you will fail.  You will.  The question is what will you do with failure?  How will it change you?  How will failure make you better?  But rest assured, we will all experience failure.
Ken Coleman says about failure in his wonderful leadership book One Question, “They (consistently successful people) have all learned more from failure and setbacks than from any of their mountaintop moments.”  He concludes with this great insight, “Every great winner is also a great loser.”
I want to be a great winner and so do you.  These means we must learn to be great losers.  We must all be able to successfully deal with failure.  And I have had my share.
The following are 11 Leadership Lessons I Have Learned From Failure:

1. I Desperately Need Jesus Christ In My Life – There a significant gap between my skills, competencies, abilities and what God wants to accomplish in my life.  I desperately need Jesus Christ to fill in the gap.  I am not good enough to accomplish a God-sized task through my human efforts.
2. Listen To My Wife – The Holy Spirit speaks through my wife.  One of my greatest failures was when I went against her career advice causing our family to be thrust into financial peril.  God gives our wives a sixth sense about things which could harm us.  We better listen.
3. Don’t Quit – I once quit something when it became too tough.  I wasn’t man enough to handle it.  God teaches us things about both Himself and ourself during difficult situations.  Quitting short circuits the process.
4. The Need For Continual Improvement – We never fully arrive as leaders.  There are times I am simply not good enough.  I have to get better.  I must improve my skills.
5. I Cannot Rescue People – There are simply some relationships in our lives which need to end.  I am not God and I am not their Savior.  Holding onto to people too long has costed me personally and organizations I have worked for dearly over the years.  Make the hard choice and cut people loose.
6. Play To Your Strengths – I once took a job outside my skill set.  It did not last long.  Today, I talk to pastors.  This is what I do.  It is all I know how to do.  I pray I get continue doing so the rest of my working days.
7. Little Things Make A Big Difference – There are no shortcuts to success.  Leaders must be thorough and finish things they begin with excellence.
8. Keep My Mouth Shut – Leadership comes with a microphone.  Therefore, we are great communicators.  Leaders can win most arguments they are in.  While we may win the argument, we can often lose the relationship.  I have lost many over the years.
9. The Only Difference Between Anger And Danger Is The Letter “D” – Back in the mid-90’s I was part of a church leadership meeting containing approximately 75 volunteer leaders.  The conversation turned to the “immature and rude” young people who were misbehaving in our services.  As the conversation was gaining momentum amongst many seasoned Christians (I am being nice) in the room, I became angrier and angrier.  I reached a boiling point and then proclaimed, “Well, your services are boring.  QUIT BORING THEM!”  Big mistake.  I was right (see point #8) but lost a tremendous amount of influence.   I have done my most irreparable damage when I have been angry.
10. Short-Term Thinking Regarding Relationships – Do not burn bridges.  I once had a supervisor tell me, “Brian, be careful what toes you step on.  They may one day be attached to the a#* you one day have to kiss.”  Brilliant advice and a great word picture.  I made some mistakes in this area but as I have gotten older, I have also been the recipient of blessings from relationships made decades earlier.
11. I Didn’t Fail Enough – John Maxwell once said and I am paraphrasing, the biggest mistake he ever made was he did not make enough of them.  He should have taken more risks.  As I have gotten older, I know exactly what John means.

What lessons have you learned from failure?

The #1 Reason Pastors Give Me As To Why Their Churches Are Growing

The #1 Reason Pastors Give Me As To Why Their Churches Are Growing

What is your perception of pastors of fast-growing churches?  The media and trolls on the internet do not paint a positive picture for us.  We are led to believe these pastors are rock stars, egotistical, and only concerned about numbers, status and financial wealth?
Based upon my experience, I have found these misconceptions to be completely false and unfounded.
As a member of INJOY Stewardship Solutions, I am in the unique position of only speaking with pastors of growing churches.  Leaders of plateaued or declining churches rarely return my calls or emails unless it is for debt retirement or long overdue renovations.
During these conversations I make time to ask the pastor, “Only about 10% of churches are growing and you are part of that group.  What do you think is causing the growth?”
Their response gives me tremendous insight into the church’s DNA, values, vision and tactics.  But the primary reason I ask this question is out of sheer fascination about what God is blessing and why.
Upon asking, the answer I receive the most is quite surprising.
Often they reply, “Brian, we try to have good systems, do things with excellence, have relevant messages, love students and be active in our city.  But our staff was just talking about it this past week, and the truth is….we don’t know where everyone is coming from.  It is truly a move of God and we’re just trying not to mess it up.”
We don’t know where everyone is coming from.  It is truly a move of God and we’re just trying not to mess it up.  This is BY FAR the the #1 reason pastors give me as to why their churches grow.  Not the preaching.  Not their systems.  Not their competencies.  Not their creativity.  Not the lighting or music.  The answer I have heard literally hundreds of times is the growth results from a move of God.
Most pastors of fast-growing churches are not arrogant or full of themselves.  They are not about the money, fame and privilege.
Most pastors of fast-growing churches are incredibly humble.  They want to honor God with their lives, have happy marriages, raise Godly children and are truly in awe the God of human history, would place His finger on their lives and use them in such an impactful way.
My prayer is if you are not already doing so, you will one day have the privilege of sitting under such a Godly leader.
And if this post describes your current pastor, please forward these thoughts to him with a note expressing your personal appreciation for how blessed you are to have him as a pastor.

23 Quotes And Lessons On Being A Successful Leader

23 Quotes And Lessons On Being A Successful Leader

 

We are witnessing leadership greatness.  Whether it is a church, non-profit, business or athletics, rarely have we witnessed the level of leadership we are currently seeing from LeBron James.  Exhibit A is the ESPN interview shown above which took place shortly after the Cleveland Cavaliers Game 3 victory.
When I listen to James, not only am I listening to a man leading dozens of multi-millionaires when you include coaches and front office staff, I am listening to a man who has gained incredible wisdom through failure.  I am listening to maturity.  I am listening to to someone performing at a level of artistic excellence basketball fans have only seen from Michael Jordan.
The following are 23 Quotes And Lessons On Being A Successful Leader from LeBron James:

1. Successful Leaders Focus On Accomplishment – “We haven’t won anything.  We haven’t done anything.”
2. Successful Leaders Celebrate – “This is the first time we’ve won a Finals game in this city.  And I’m proud to be part of history.”
3. Successful Leaders Have Experienced Winning Before – “We have to stay even keel.  It’s the second of four wins.  I’ve been here before.”
4. Successful Leaders Are Reliable – “We did what we’re supposed to tonight and that was to protect home.”
5. Successful Leaders Are Never Comfortable – “My message to them (his teammates) was just because we’re back home, don’t get comfortable.”
6. Successful Leaders Are Discontent – “I want us to have the same uptight feeling like it’s us against everybody like we did in Golden State.”
7.  Successful Leaders Stay Mentally Focused – “Just because you’re back home doesn’t mean it’s relax time.  We have to stay razor sharp, mentally focused.”
8. Successful Leaders Execute Well – “We executed offensively and that allowed us to get up to that lead (20 points).”
9. Successful Leaders Know How To Position Others For Success – “A team like Golden State, when they get into a rhythm they make shots.”
10. Successful Leaders Are Consistent – “We have to continue to defend.  We have to continue to defend at a high level.”
11. Successful Leaders Are Fast Starters – “We didn’t start off the 4th (quarter) the right way.”
12. Successful Leaders Do Whatever Is Necessary For Success – “I’m trying to do whatever it takes at this point.”
13. Successful Leaders Have Overcome Much – “Being under-matched, being under-manned, being counted out, everything is against us right now.  We don’t have nothing to lose.”
14. Successful Leaders Are Highly Motivated – “The group of guys I have, they’re playing off straight motivation.”
15. Successful Leaders Earn Respect Rather Than Demand It – “They’re happy to be a part of this but they’re like, ‘I’m a professional basketball player as well’ and they’re trying to gain some respect.”
16. Successful Leaders Embrace The Process – “I had so much motivation coming into this season but I knew it was going to be a long process…and what it was going to take from me to get our guys ready for this.”
17. Successful Leaders Sense And Seize Opportunity – “I didn’t think we were going to get to this point right now but I was ready to lead if we got to this point.”
18. Successful Leaders Are Highly Competitive – “Everyday I step out on this court I want to be the MVP.  As a leader, I can’t say I wasn’t upset finishing third cause I know what I bring to the table.”
19. Successful Leaders Work Very Hard – “I know how much I work on my craft.”  For more on the importance of hard work, read This Will Cause Leaders To Fail Every Single Time.
20. Successful Leaders Pay A Higher Price – “Everything is sore right now.”
21. Successful Leaders Do Not Make Excuses – “117 shots (in first three games), out my character but I have no choice.”
22. Successful Leaders Are Resilient – “I’m trying to put pressure on the defense and let my teammates know no matter how it’s going, I’m going to continue to fight.”
23. Successful Leaders Do Not Waste Opportunity – “People talk about how important Finals games are, every single one is important…The next game is the most important game.”

Consider this, the New York Knicks unloaded three players to the Cleveland Cavaliers for draft picks in a mid-season trade.  Perennial all-Star Carmelo Anthony led the Knicks to 17 wins this year.  James has led a decimated Cavs team featuring three Knicks castoffs to within two games of the NBA championship.
That is the power of the incredible leadership of LeBron James.

The Most Important Decision a Pastor Can Make Each Day

By Ronnie Floyd

“The most important decision a pastor can make daily is to begin his day with God.”

Every pastor I know is faced with numerous decisions every day. Some of those decisions can impact people greatly. While there are a plethora of decisions a pastor can make daily, what is the most important?
The Most Important Decision
The most important decision a pastor can make daily is to begin his day with God. When we begin our day with God, it changes the way we see things the rest of the day. It changes our attitude and our actions. It helps us navigate through the challenges of life and ministry.
Three Actions to Take Daily
While some who are reading this have yawned already, I continue to stand amazed at how many pastors do not begin their day with God. Their inconsistency in this discipline is their consistency.
No wonder pulpits are vacant of anointed men of God, the people in the pews are yearning for a Word from God, and the church is lacking the fire of God. As pastors, we must rekindle or fan into flame the gift of God that is in us according to 2 Timothy 1:6.
I want to highlight three actions that will fan the flame of God in you in your time with Him daily:
Action #1: Read the Bible daily in a systematic way.
Pastor, you need to have a plan to read God’s Word daily. When you are with a group of pastors, ask them: What is your daily plan of reading the Scripture? You might learn a new approach.
Personally, I believe a pastor should read through God’s Word annually or at least consistently many times during a decade of ministry. Unquestionably, reading through the Bible at least once each year is one of the most powerful disciplines I have experienced in my spiritual life.
Action #2: Establish a plan to pray daily.
If you do not have a plan to pray, you will not pray consistently. You will be all over the place in your praying, even though your intentions are good.

“The most important decision a pastor can make daily is to begin his day with God.”

I use my iPad to help me establish an ongoing plan to pray daily. This helps me stay on target in my prayer and permits me the needed flexibility to ensure the ongoing plan is relevant and up to date.
Whatever your plan to pray is, just have one. Stop and take the time to prepare a plan. Then, under God’s leadership, follow it.
Action #3: Periodically, fast and pray.
I cannot dictate nor advise anyone on how often or how many days a year they should fast and pray. This is not my decision, but God’s.
What I do know is the absolute great value it brings in life to fast and pray. I think the power of God awaits the man of God who is willing to spend time fasting and praying. There is power in the secret place.
Additionally, a pastor should lead his fellowship to periodically have a day or days of fasting and praying. Cross Church just observed one of these days this past Sunday night through Monday. I am telling you, there is power in a church that prays and fasts together.
Everything Begins With the Most Important Decision
Everything begins with the most important decision. Reading the Bible in a systematic way, establishing a plan to pray daily, and periodically fasting and praying, all begin with the most important decision a pastor can make daily: Beginning his day with God.
Pastor, do not minimize this decision in your life. It is the most important decision you make daily. Do it with conviction.  
Dr. Ronnie Floyd has been a pastor for over 37 years and was recently elected president of the Southern Baptist Convention. His experience, wisdom and passion for God make him a powerful proclaimer of God’s Word. He teaches principles from the Bible that encourage and uplift thousands of people all over the world via TV, Internet, podcasts, radio, speaking engagements and books. More from Ronnie Floyd or visit Ronnie at http://www.ronniefloyd.com

Top 5 Lies Christians Believe

By Nicole Cottrell

One would assume that because Christians are followers of the Truth, that we would be less susceptible to such lies.

The apostle Paul wrote:

“For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.” 2 Timothy 4:3-4

We are all susceptible to believing lies at any given time. The world is magical at presenting its counterfeit products as the genuine article. One would assume that because Christians are followers of the Truth, that we would be less susceptible to such lies.
The real truth, however, is that Christians believe many lies. We sometimes don’t even realize that they are lies because they are wrapped up so nicely with what appears to be a “Bible bow.”
There are hundreds of lies Christians believe, either collectively or individually. I chose these five lies because I have personally seen them infiltrate the church, the lives of my friends and family, and my own life.
Here are the Top Five Lies Christians Believe (according to me):  

1. Church is not necessary.

In other words, it’s OK to be a lone Christian.
I was a lone Christian for many years. I knew no differently and I honestly didn’t know any better. Somehow in my daily reading of scripture, all the talk of the body and fellowship just flew right past me.
The saddest thing is that it was my lack of accountability and relationship that pushed me to my furthest point away from God. I would wake up every morning and feel hopeless and alone.

2. All Christians need to do is be “good” and act “nice.”

That is what a “good Christian does.” This lie is one of the enemy’s greatest weapons. He wants us to believe that if we just “act” a certain way and keep up appearances (i.e. do good works apart from grace) that we will be OK.
Satan wants to convince us that we are capable, in our own strength, to accomplish God’s will, thereby rejecting the Holy Spirit. We ignore the Holy Spirit and all of His available guidance, power and counsel. We treat the Spirit as either insignificant to create change in our life, or simply irrelevant. We believe wrongly that we can “make it happen.”
Yet, it is through the Spirit that we are empowered to do God’s work. Likewise, our salvation rests on knowing Christ, loving Him completely, nothing else.
God will not ask if you were a nice person when you stand before Him. He will want to know if you knew His Son.

3. God doesn’t care about your small things.

He is much too busy with all the big issues. I have personally struggled (and still do struggle) with this lie.
Somewhere along the line we convince ourselves that God has got a lot on his plate and so we don’t bother Him with our silly little lives. We pray for others, sure. Or make our own requests known only when they are “big” things, and even then we doubt He might care or actually hear.
But oh how He cares.
He knows the number of hairs on your head. He does not just tolerate you or put up with you. He delights in you. He is overjoyed to hear your voice, calling out to your Abba.
He cares about the details of your lives just as much as the “big picture.” He desires you to let Him into the small spaces where He can take up residence and bring peace.

4. We believe that only pastors or those in “leadership” can, in fact, lead.

Churches use words like pastor, counselor, minister of whatever or lay person. They are essentially stating that you must be a professional to serve or lead within the body.
The beauty, however, of the Body of Christ is that God calls ordinary men to do His extraordinary work.
You do not need a seminary degree, a certificate of training or a title from your church’s administration to serve, disciple or equip those around you. You need three things: willingness, faithfulness and the Holy Spirit.

5. God wants us to be happy.

Happiness in scripture is usually mentioned in terms of a fleeting moment or a temporal, earthly event. Neither the scriptures or Christ (or anyone else for that matter) ever tell us that God wants us to “be happy.” He wants us to be a lot of things: righteous, holy, godly, pure, sanctified, etc … but “happy” ain’t in the list.
It’s cliche, but man is it true: God is more concerned with our holiness than our happiness.
Americans tend to think more in terms of happiness and immediacy than joy and steadfastness. We want God to just rain down good feelings and good times.
The truth, however, is that being happy and content in our daily lives is a byproduct of following Jesus with an obedient heart, but it is not the reason we follow Him.
We give our lives to Him because His sacrifice demands a response. In turn, as we engage with Him and let the Spirit lead, He offers us the abundant life. Abundance in Christ, however, is not synonymous with happiness.
In fact, I would argue that in some ways, being a Christian is actually harder than not. The reward, blessing, peace and fruit, however, far outweigh our temporal sufferings.
I would say that #3 and #5 are personal struggles for me. I am constantly battling lies within my mind, either self-perpetuated or flaming arrows from the enemy. Either way, recognizing lies for what they are is the best cure. The result is freedom, and ultimately that is what I’m after.
Which of the five lies, if any, have you believed or currently struggle with?
What lies would you add to the list?

Nicole Cottrell is trained in the fine art of button-pushing. She uses her skills daily on Modern Reject where she writes about the intersection of faith and culture as well as the unpopular stuff no one else likes to talk about. Nicole is a speaker, writer, discipler, and coffee fanatic. She and her husband planted the Foundation, a network of house churches in Arizona. Nicole lives in Scottsdale with her husband and two little munchkins, three of the coolest and funniest people she knows. More from Nicole Cottrell or visit Nicole at http://modernreject.com

13 Realities Of Angry Pastors

13 Realities Of Angry Pastors

This is a very important post because the content below is going to save someone’s job and ministry.  For others, it will be a sad reminder of lost opportunity.  For another group, the information will be laughed off and ignored to your own peril.
The only difference between anger and danger is the letter “D”.  This is especially true for pastors.  Over the past three decades, I have encountered several pastors with anger issues.  The stories never ended well.
The following are 13 Realities Of Angry Pastors:

1. Angry Pastors Have Experienced Significant Pain And Disappointment – Hurt people hurt people.  Even when they are pastors.
2. Angry Pastors Have Control Issues – They get angry when they cannot control others and/or situations.  This often reveals itself when they are questioned.  Angry pastors frequently confuse questions with questioning.
3. Angry Pastors Have Short Tenures – Because they lack emotional intelligence and needlessly burn so many bridges, attendance and giving decline.  The people have voted with their feet and wallets.  The pastor is ultimately removed.
4. Angry Pastors Lead Smaller And Smaller Congregations – Interestingly, anger limits the size of churches you can be entrusted with.  I know of one pastor who pastored a historically strong church averaging 800 in attendance.  Upon his self-destruction, the only church he could now get was less than 100 in attendance.
5. Angry Pastors Offend Leaders – Leaders WANT to help you and just as importantly, CAN help you.  But angry pastors poorly steward these relationships.  Board meetings are filled with tenseness, lack of forgiveness, unhealthy conflict, walls being built and finally broken relationships.
6. Angry Pastors Have Short Fuses – Burst of anger are commonplace with staff and leadership.  People begin to walk on eggshells and merely keep their heads down.
7. Angry Pastors Lose Top Staff – Quality staff leave churches with angry pastors.  Life is too short and they have other options.
8. Angry Pastors Like To Fight – The sad reality is angry pastors are more comfortable in unhealthy environments than healthy environments.  So even if a culture is healthy, they self-destruct it because they cannot function where there is peace.
9. Angry Pastors Become Merely Positional Leaders – If a pastor proclaims, “I am the pastor”, he/she is no longer the leader.  If a leader has to tell you their the leader, they are not.  They are now leading by position rather than influence.
10. Angry Pastors Do Lasting Harm To Churches – Every church I know formerly led by an angry pastor declined in attendance and rarely returned to its previous level of impact.  Also, future leadership teams began making decisions in light of “not wanting to go down that road again.”  Ironically, the previous angry pastor is still impacting decisions being made.
11. Angry Pastors Lack Self-Awareness – They have a perverted sense of being right and everyone else is wrong.  Here is a tip to know if you are preaching in an angry manner – watch your sermons with the volume down.  What are your mannerisms and facial expressions communicating?
12. Angry Pastors Need A Counselor – They have personal issues they need to deal with.
13. Angry Pastors May Need A New Profession – I have heard pastors state their primary calling is to break the legs of the sheep, place the sheep over their shoulders and carry them back to the herd.  No compassion.  No empathy.  No mercy.  Well, no problem because you will ultimately have no job.

If you are an angry pastor, here are a five steps you need to take TODAY:

• Repent of your sin.
• Apologize to all those you have offended.  You will need to this in each of the following – one-on-one conversations, to staff and leadership teams, and most likely to the congregation during a Sunday sermon.
• Seek Professional Assistance – Contact a Christian counselor and work through your issues.
• Become A Learner – Get some leadership training, particularly in the areas of emotional intelligence and people skills.
• Bring Accountability Into Your Life – Have the leaders in your church partner with you on a solution to this issue.

You most likely still have time to repair your ministry because your congregation does not want to fire you.  But if you stay angry, they will.
What other realities do you see in the lives of angry pastors?

The Top 10 Leadership Posts I Read The Week Of June 8th

The Top 10 Leadership Posts I Read The Week Of June 8th

The greatest leader who has ever lived, Jesus Christ, is still changing lives.  As I read many of this week’s best posts, I was reminded of this.
If you need hope, encouragement or inspiration, make sure you bookmark the posts below and revisit them often.
The following are The Top 10 Leadership Posts I Read The Week Of June 8th:

1. Three Things I Learned As A Cancer Survivor by Kurt Bubna
2. Seeing Red: A Picture Of Grace by Derwin Gray.  One of the best church videos you will ever see.
3. 9 Church Board Mistakes I Have Been Seeing Lately by Tony Morgan
4. 12 Ways To Keep The Passion Alive In Your Marriage by Joshua Reich
5. An Open Letter To Mike Linch, Senior Pastor At NorthStar by Beth Riedemann.  As good as anything you will ever read.
6. 3 Strategic Leadership Lessons From Watching Jesus Clean House by Charles Specht
7. Are These A Pastor’s 5 Greatest Fears? by Charles Stone
8. When I Want To Be Mean by Lysa Terkeurst
9. Summer Of Wonder by Jason Tippetts via MundaneFaithfulness.com.  Make sure you read the comments following the post.  Amazing!
10. 10 Myths About Large Churches by James Emery White via OutreachMagazine.com

Well, that is my Top 10.  What other great posts did you read this week?