Leadership & Market Place Ministry: June 2017

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

8 Sins You Commit Every Time You Look at Porn

June 21, 2017

We know that pornography is an ugly and harmful sin. We know that those who indulge in porn have committed the sin of lust, but there is so much more to it than that. When you open your browser and begin to look at those images and videos, you are sinning in ways that go far beyond lust. Here are eight sins you commit when you look at porn.
You commit the sin of idolatry. All sin is idolatry, an attempt to find joy and satisfaction not in God himself but in what God forbids (Exodus 20:3-6). Matt Papa says it well: “An idol, simply put, is anything that is more important to you than God. It is anything that has outweighed God in your life—anything that you love, trust or obey more than God—anything that has replaced God as essential to your happiness.” In the moment you begin to look at porn, you have allowed it to replace God as essential to your happiness. You’ve committed the sin of idolatry.
You commit the sin of adultery. This is the most obvious sin you commit when you use porn. In Matthew 5, Jesus draws a clear connection between lust and adultery. “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (27-28). Pornography is lust and exists to foster lust. But lust is simply a form of the wider sin of adultery, the deed or desire to be sexually involved with someone other than your spouse.
You commit the sin of deceit. Deceit is the act of concealing or misrepresenting your actions. Because pornography generates shame, you will hide it, cover it up or refuse to confess it. When you erase your browsing history to keep your parents from finding out, when you use it in secret to keep your spouse from learning about your addiction, when you refuse to proactively confess it to an accountability partner, when you participate in the Lord’s Supper even though you are unrepentantly given over to it, you are practicing deceit. And the Bible warns of the dire consequences: “No one who practices deceit shall dwell in my house; no one who utters lies shall continue before my eyes” (Psalm 101:7).
You commit the sin of theft. The porn industry is being badly damaged by piracy, by people illegally distributing copyrighted material. Some estimates say that for every one video that is downloaded legally, five are downloaded illegally. Fully 60 percent of all illegal downloads are of pornographic content. While we can be glad that the industry is in dire straights, we have no right to participate in such theft, for God says clearly, “You shall not steal” (Exodus 20:15). When you use porn, you are almost definitely watching material that has been stolen and, in that way, you are participating in its theft.
You commit the sin of greed. Sexual sin is greed, a form of taking advantage of another person to defraud them of something that is rightly theirs. In 1 Thessalonians 4, Paul insists “that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter [of sexual sin], because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you” (6). The word translated “wrong” in this context refers to greedily taking something from someone else. It is to allow greed to motivate fraud, to unfairly and illegitimately use another person for your ignoble purposes.
You commit the sin of sloth. We are called in all of life to “redeem the time,” to understand that we live short little lives and are responsible before God to make the most of every moment (Ephesians 5:16). Sloth is laziness, an unwillingness to use time well, and reflects a willingness to use time for destructive instead of constructive purposes. In that way pornography is slothful, a misuse of time. It is using precious moments, hours and days to harm others instead of help them, to foster sin instead of kill sin, to backslide instead of grow, to pursue an idol instead of the living God.
You commit the sin of sexual assault. A person who drives a getaway car for a band of bank robbers will rightly be charged with murder for anyone who is killed in committing that crime. The person who voluntarily watches sexual assault for purposes of titillation is rightly guilty of that sexual assault. And a nauseating quantity of pornography is violent in nature, displaying men taking advantage of women. Sometimes these women have volunteered for such degradation and sometimes they are forced or raped into it. To watch such horrifying smut is to be a participant in it and to bear the moral blemish of it.
You commit the sin of ignoring the Holy Spirit. As a Christian, you have the tremendous honor and advantage of being indwelled by the Holy Spirit. One of the ways the Spirit ministers to you is in giving you an internal warning against sin. Paul assures that the Spirit warns against sexual sin in particular, then provides a stern caution: “Therefore whoever disregards this [warning], disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you” (1 Thessalonians 4:8). To commit sexual sin is to ignore the Holy Spirit, to actively suppress his voice as he warns that you need not and should not commit this sin. He provides everything necessary to resist this temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13). To resist the Spirit and ignore his ministry to you is a serious offense against a holy God.
It is sinful to lust after another person and to enable this lust through pornography. Yet the sin bound up in pornography goes far deeper than mere lust. It extends to idolatry, adultery, deceit, theft, greed, sloth, sexual violence and ignoring the Holy Spirit. Romans 14:12 warns: “So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.” Thankfully, what God demands God provides, and he does so through the gospel. Those who have trusted Jesus Christ can have confidence that Christ has satisfied our account, that he has satisfied God’s wrath against our sin, that he has provided us with his own righteousness. Yet we must also know that he has done this not so we can remain in our sin, but that we can “put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:24).
This article originally appeared here.

Engaging Brokenness

Existing for Our Mission Fields

Maybe culturally accepted religious practice and the “return to Judeo-Christian values” many yearn for have done more harm than good to people’s pursuit of true holiness and understanding of the life of following Jesus.
Peter writes the following to Christians living in a society that did not regard Christianity any more highly than our own does:

“Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on m the day of visitation.” – 1 Peter 2:11–12

Peter’s imagery is poignant. Every Christian is a “sojourner” and “exile.” We live in a land not our own; our language, culture, goals, motives, and hopes are different than the inhabitants of this land. As ministers, we are the leaders of these sojourners and exiles modeling and helping God’s people live out their faith in this foreign land. Peter tells us how to model that well; on one hand, we “abstain from the passions of the flesh.” We do this by fighting sin and for holiness. For ministers, we lead others in the same. On the other hand, we don’t do this by hiding away from the world where God has sent us. Instead, God’s people live out our faith “among the Gentiles”—the first-century word for “not God’s people”! That means we display our true hope in Jesus and declare the gospel in the midst of that society that doesn’t believe in either, and for ministers, we lead others in the same.
Several years ago, I attended a conference session called “For the City.” The presenters—a local church pastor and a non-profit leader who partnered with that church—described four different postures that ministries and leaders often take toward their mission field.

In the city: This posture simply exists in a certain locality but has little impact on it; this leads to apathy toward the world God sent them into.
Against the city: This posture has a mentality that says the church is good, and the city is bad. This leads to isolation from the world God sent them into.
Of the city: This posture look so much like the city that the gospel seems to make no difference; this leads to being taken over by the world God sent them into.
For the city: This posture seeks the shalom of the city or its overall welfare, which is found most fully in Jesus; this leads to a deep care for the world God sent them into.

The world around us is broken. Sin and disbelief in God run rampant. Idols seem to be erected every day. Rather than run from the souls God put us in the midst of, rather then give up our convictions and live like the culture around us, and rather than apathy toward the brokenness we see, we must lead our people to engage it—no matter how hard.

GOD’S MISSION: THIS CULTURE

The US Supreme Court’s 2015 ruling for same-sex marriage prompted an outcry from conservative American Christians. This may be overstated, but the theme of the mourning and anger (against both God and man) seemed to be that there had never been anything as evil or reprobate anywhere on earth or at any point in history.
Canadian pastor Carey Nieuwhof responded to the American outcry with a blog post outlining five poignant perspectives from ministering in one of the twenty-plus nations where similar laws had already been passed. His words are a helpful case study as we consider answering the needs that exist in our culture today:

The Church has always been counter-cultural: Regardless of your theological position, all your views as a Christian are counter-cultural and always will be. If your views are cultural, you’re probably not reading the Scriptures closely enough.
It’s actually strange to ask non-Christians to hold Christian values: Non-Christians usually act more consistently with their value system than you do. Chances are they are better at living out their values than you or I are. Jesus never blamed pagans for acting like pagans, but he did speak out against religious people for acting hypocritically.
You’ve been dealing with sex outside of traditional marriage for a long time: If you believe gay marriage is not God’s design, you’re dealing with the same issue you’ve been dealing with all along—sex outside of its God-given context. You don’t need to treat it any differently.
The early church never looked to the government for guidance: Rather than asking the government to release him from prison, Paul wrote letters from prison talking about the love of Jesus Christ. Instead of looking to the government for help, Paul and Jesus looked to God.
Our judgment of LGBT people is destroying any potential relationship: You were saved by grace. Your sins are simply different than others. Honestly, in many respects, they are the same. People don’t line up to be judged, but they might line up to be loved.

Nieuwhof says in his opening, “Even the first 72 hours of social media reaction [since the decision was publicized] has driven a deeper wedge between Christian leaders and the LGBT community Jesus loves (yes, Jesus died for the world because he loves it).”
I mention the 2015 decision and Nieuwhof’s response, not because of the issue itself, but for two reasons. First, it’s simply one example among many of our shifting culture. Second, it contrasts typical responses that ministers—and Christians in general—can have with some examples of thoughtful, biblical truths. Jesus’ followers need to be reminded of these as we learn to wrestle with our status as “sojourners and exiles” in a land not our own. Similar truths are needed for every issue, sin, and struggle—in our own lives and in society.
The response to an increasingly-pluralistic culture isn’t to retreat; it’s to advance. Christians are light into the darkness, ministers of reconciliation, humble servants of God and man, lovers of neighbors and enemies, and priests who declare the excellencies of Jesus to the world around us. Ministers must lead others to live as if that’s all true.

POINTING OUR CULTURE TO THE ONE TRUE ANSWER

May I close this by musing a bit? Maybe Christianity truly is losing a cultural war. But maybe—just maybe—we have the wrong view altogether, and the realities of a shifting culture are awakening a giant who’s been sleeping since the days of Constantine. Maybe Christendom actually cheapened the true faith and life Christians are called to live. Maybe Christian values were never intended to thrive as an interwoven reality with government. Maybe culturally-accepted religious practice and the “return to Judeo-Christian values” many yearn for have done more harm than good to people’s pursuit of true holiness and understanding of the life of following Jesus.
The second chapter of Peter’s first letter—right after Peter charges Christians to live out their faith in the midst of people who disregarded and even hated them—specifically tells us that part of this counter-cultural life is submitting to the authority of “every human institution, whether it be to the emperor or to governors [or even] to your masters”—even when they’re “unjust” (2:13–18). First Peter 3 tells us that a Christian view of marriage is different than that of a pleasure-seeking world, who pursues its own definition and expression of beauty and self-fulfillment (3:1–7). The rest of Peter’s letter explains that Christians will suffer, for our views and our lives look different than those around us. We’ll be rejected, persecuted, and hated by the very people among whom God calls us to live out our faith.
If we didn’t know better, we might think these words were written about today’s society. Yet they were written 2,000 years ago to Christians like you and me, sent to a culture unlike their own just like you and me, and called to display and declare the gospel to that culture just like you and me, so that “they may see your good deeds and glorify God”—so that God might use our lives, lived publicly for Him, to draw some to Himself.
The truth of Peter’s words—to Christians then and now—is that Christians are free to follow human authorities because our hope lies in One True Authority. We can hold a biblical view of marriage because we realize it reflects something far greater than ourselves. We can suffer well, even for the sake of others, because we know we follow a true King who suffered on our behalf!

“What’s the world coming to?!” It’s coming to the same place as always, but rarely known: a desperate need for Jesus. While that need may have seemed hidden, subtle, or buried during Christendom’s reign over our culture, the need is becoming more and more clear (if it isn’t already). Who are we, ministers? We are God’s missionaries, and we have the answer to every need of the culture in which we exist. Let’s go into the darkness and by God’s grace help our world find the answer to its every need.
Excerpted from A Pastor’s Guide for Everyday Mission by Ben Connelly

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Ben Connelly

Ben Connelly, his wife Jess, and their kiddos Charlotte, Maggie, and Travis live in Fort Worth, TX. He started and now co-leads The City Church, part of the Acts29 network and Soma family of churches. Ben also directs church planting for Soma churches across North America, has taught university classes, and has published a few books. With degrees from Baylor University and Dallas Theological Seminary, he writes for various publications, trains folks across the country, and blogs occasionally at benconnelly.net.

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One comment on “Engaging Brokenness”

Dennis on June 22nd, 2017 - 12:05pm

I’ve thought quite a bit about these things, and I agree with much of what’s written here. I really enjoyed the simple stating of the 4 postures (attitudes) the church can take toward their city. That being said, I have a serious question I’d like to ask for a response: As followers of Jesus we’re clearly involved in a counter-culture (“Kingdom of God”) to the culture we see here in the U.S., although we have citizenship in both Heaven and earth. Since we have the “right” (some would say “responsibility”) in this nation to vote for the passing of certain laws, which perspective should we vote from: from the perspective of ‘unbelievers’ who would expand their “rights” for things that would be clearly, biblical sins (since you stated “It’s actually strange to ask non-Christians to hold Christian values”), or, should we vote with a perspective as followers of Jesus who condemned sin wherever he saw it (in both religious leaders and political leaders)?
I truly want your viewpoint on this. To compare the Roman Empire (under which Peter lived) with the U.S. government (under which I live) seems like comparing apples and oranges. Their “voting rights” we’re very limited (and the process certainly corrupt); our “voting rights” are very broad (the degree of corruption is debatable). .
Please take a moment and give your perspective on this, it would be greatly appreciated.

Are Unhappy Christians a Poor Witness?

Mike Leake

June 26, 2017

In a sense, a depressed Christian is a contradiction in terms, and he is a very poor recommendation for the gospel. –Martyn Lloyd-Jones (Spiritual Depression)
I’ve labored over this quote for quite some time. I battle depression. So when I read statements like this from a pastor I revere it causes me to be a bit unsettled. Even more so when he says things like, “Such people are very poor representatives of the Christian faith.” Now it’s possible that what Lloyd-Jones means by “depression” is different than what I mean by depression. It is a bit difficult to pin down exactly what he means by “spiritual depression,” but he continued to use terms like “unhappy Christians” and “cast down” and “their souls are disquieted within them.” So, I think for the most part we have similar definitions of depression.
When I go through one of my seasons of darkness is it true that I’m a poor recommendation of the gospel?
I know in the midst of that darkness it certainly feels that way. And as I’ve given this some thought I have to admit that there won’t be depression in heaven. So whether it’s part of my finitude or fallenness it really doesn’t matter. It’ll be gone in the New Jerusalem. So depression isn’t the ideal state. If all Lloyd-Jones means is that the depressed Christian doesn’t accurately represent the full victory Christ has purchased for us, then I suppose I’d give him a thousand “Amen’s.”
I also know that some of the sinful responses which often accompany depression are definitely poor representations of Christ. Grumbling, being malcontent and the like are certainly expressly forbidden in Scripture. This is not to mention that Scripture calls us to “be joyful always.” I suppose not being joyful is a poor witness to Christ.
But I’m not yet ready to concede.
I’m arguing that there is a type of robust faith that sits upon the ash heap of one like Job. Jeremiah, the weeping prophet, was not a poor witness. Nor was King David and the other Psalmists of whom God used to give us a song book filled with lament. These are not miserable witnesses or poor recommendations of the gospel but beacons—though shrouded in darkness—of the redeeming Christ.
If Lloyd-Jones is saying what I believe he is saying then I disagree with him about the witness of those Christians battling depression.
First, I believe in this instance MLJ is reflecting a very pragmatic understanding of the gospel. He admits this much when he concedes that we live in a pragmatic age and such folks are drawn away from the gospel because of depressed Christians. Because “Christian people too often seem to be perpetually in the doldrums and too often give this appearance of unhappiness and a lack of freedom and of absence of joy” then “there is no question at all but that this is the main reason why large number of people have ceased to be interested in Christianity.”
What he is saying is that for many unbelievers Christianity simply does not work. But what did the gospel aim to do? Make people happy? Meet our unmet needs? Or did the gospel aim to set God’s children from death to life and begin the work of total redemption? If I believe the gospel is meant to make men happy here then I have to concede that in some instances it doesn’t work. We’d have to say the gospel only partially took in the life of someone like William Cowper. But I imagine we’ll sing a different tune in glory. The gospel is meant to get people to God. Mission accomplished. But until we reach glory we might still struggle with shaking off the remnants of our finitude and fallenness.
Sure, unhappy Christians are a poor witness if the gospel is that God makes men happy. But I believe (and believe MLJ also believed) the gospel is a bit more than this.
Second, I question whether or not Lloyd-Jones was a bit overly simplistic in his understanding of the causes of depression. That sounds ridiculous because it is MLJ who gave us great lines like this one:
Many Christian people, in fact, are in utter ignorance concerning this realm where the borderlines between the physical, psychological and spiritual meet. Frequently I have found that such [church] leaders had treated those whose trouble was obviously mainly physical or psychological, in a purely spiritual manner; and if you do so, you not only don’t help. You aggravate the problem. (Quoted from Murray, p31)
But in my mind MLJ undercuts what he said in this paragraph by his statement concerning unhappy Christians being a terrible witness. Certainly we would not say that a person who has cancer is a terrible witness. That’s the prosperity gospel. But if my unwelcome and unhappy condition isn’t simply the result of sin or a spiritual problem but a bit more complex then it is incredibly unhelpful and aggravating for Lloyd-Jones to then stack upon guilt for such a thing.
Last, it doesn’t leave much room for the sovereignty of God. I address this at length in Torn to Heal, but I’m convinced that on occasion these “fits of melancholy” are a divine help to us. Would I say that God is giving us something which will cause us to be a poor representation of Christ? Absolutely, not. Everything he gives is meant to bring us into conformity with Christ.
Conclusion
Where does this leave us? Certainly, we do not want to pursue misery and being an unhappy Christian. But if you find yourself in a season of darkness, don’t fake it for the sake of not being a bad witness. (And Lloyd-Jones agrees with this.) Don’t take the path of the stoic. Learn to use the Bible’s language of lament when you need to.
I believe this quote by Christopher Wright is true because too many have taken Lloyd-Jones quips here to an unhealthy end:
…the language of lament is seriously neglected in the church. Many Christians seem to feel that somehow it can’t be right to complain to God in the context of corporate worship when we should all feel happy. There is an implicit pressure to stifle our real feelings because we are urged, by pious merchants of emotional denial, that we ought to have “faith” (as if the moaning psalmists didn’t). So we end up giving external voice to pretended emotions we do not really feel, while hiding the real emotions we are struggling with deep inside. Going to worship can become an exercise in pretence and concealment, neither of which can possibly be conducive for a real encounter with God. So, in reaction to some appalling disaster or tragedy, rather than cry out our true feelings to God, we prefer other ways of responding to it. –(Christopher J.H. Wright, The God I Don’t Understand, 52)
I’m not attempting to defend misery. I’m simply hoping to encourage suffering Christians to not hide in these seasons of pain because of the mistaken belief that their struggle is a poor witness. Instead I’m hoping to encourage them…us…to use these seasons to display the beauty of the gospel and a Savior who clings to us even when we’ve got hands full of ashes.
This article originally appeared here.

3 Ways to Stay Humble

Worship Cohort

June 25, 2017

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom. –Proverbs 11:2 (ESV)

Pride is a dangerous vice. It’s sneaky and subtle. As worship leaders, humility is an attribute that we simply cannot live without.

Here are three easy things we, as worship leaders, can do to make sure we stay humble in our churches, with our teams and within our own hearts and minds!

Have conversations with people smarter and more experienced than you!

Not just other worship leaders, but also your pastor and the elders at your church. Older men if you’re a man and older women if you are a woman are of great benefit to our development not just as leaders but also as Christians! Seek out older more experienced people than yourself to be around and spend time with and learn from!

Read a lot!

If you are in The Word every day, if you are constantly reading, you are proactively feeding your soul and your mind with truth about who God is and who we are. Now, not all books out there are right about the character and nature of God, which is why having more experienced smarter people in your life is important because they can lead you to authors you may have never heard of that can help you!

Be available to your team for conversation, feedback and relationship!

If you are in relationship with the people you serve with every week, they will undoubtedly see different sides of you over time and you will see different sides of them as well. These relationships will allow you to hold each other accountable in the way you approach ministry and deal with people.

If we all did these three things consistently, I believe we would see significant differences in the health, function and impact our teams and our churches have in and around our communities!

This article originally appeared here.

10 Things You Must Do To Become The Best Version Of You – Contains Must-Watch Video

https://twitter.com/_/status/878391487175606272
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How do you become the best version of you? How do you become everything God created you to be? How do you reach (or exceed) your potential and everyone else’s expectations for yourself?
In the video above, performance coach and keynote speaker Alan Stein Jr. gives us a unique glimpse into the training habits of an individual who maximized every ounce of talent he was given and then some – two-time NBA Most Valuable Player Steph Curry.
Curry is generally recognized as the greatest shooter in the history of the NBA. But how did an under-sized, lightly-recruited player from a non-basketball school achieve such superior results?
The following are 10 Things You Must Do To Become The Best Version Of You I gleaned from the incredible video above. Before getting to my points, if you do not follow Alan on Twitter, make sure you do so by clicking HERE.

To Become The Best Version Of You You Must Be Willing To Train – Steph Curry was attending the 2007 Kobe Bryant Nike Skills Training Academy in Los Angeles to work on his skills.
To Become The Best Version Of You You Must Compete Against Quality Competition – You only get better by facing competition who is bigger, faster, stronger and better than you. Nike was bringing in the best high school and college players from around the country to face each other.
To Become The Best Version Of You You Must Often Work In Anonymity – I refer to this as the lonely work. In 2007, Curry was still rather unknown following his freshman season at Davidson. He was also the least heralded of the college counselors.
To Become The Best Version Of You You Must Ignore The Naysayers – There will always be those who dismiss you or minimize your accomplishments. Ignore them. Many of the other coaches referred to Curry as simply, “Dell’s son.”
To Become The Best Version Of You You Must Rise Early And Arrive Early – Curry was the first player laced up an on the practice court.
To Become The Best Version Of You You Must Put In Extra Work – When the camp’s other players were just arriving at practice wearing their head phones and flip flops, Curry had already gotten in numerous quality reps and worked up a significant sweat.
To Become The Best Version Of You You Must Relentlessly Work On Your Craft – Curry made easily 100 shots from various spots on the court. The key word is “various”. Curry worked hard to diversify his skill set and hit shots from all over the court.
To Become The Best Version Of You You Must Build Mutually-Beneficial Relationships – Curry took the risk of walking across a room after practice and ask a complete stranger to rebound for him.
To Become The Best Version Of You You Must Put In Extra Work – Point #5 was you must arrive early. But in addition to arriving early, you must also be willing to put in the extra work on the back-end by staying late.
To Become The Best Version Of You You Must Have Incredibly High Personal Standards – Curry did not leave the practice facility until he swishes five free throws in a row. For the uninitiated, a “swish” is a made shot which does not touch the rim. This is often referred to as “nothing but net”. Most people would be happy with five made free throws in a row. If Curry hit four in a row but the fifth made shot hit the rim, he would start over.

What is one thing you learned from Curry which will help you become the best version of yourself?

Click HERE or on the image to the left and as a free gift for subscribing to this site, you can receive my new Ebook 1269 Leadership Quotes: Timeless Truths From 2016’s Top Christian Leadership Conferences. Featured are the Johnny Hunt Mens Conference, ReThink Leadership, Orange and Leadercast Conferences among others. If applied, these insights will make you an exponentially better leader. Enjoy!!!

11 Things I Am Embarrassed To Admit About Myself

Have you ever noticed when things go wrong, they come in bunches? I don’t know about you but when things break in my house and life, it is one after another like waves on a beach. And this subsequently creates a season of financial challenges. This is life.
In the last two weeks the following has happened:

My upstairs air conditioning went out costing me over $1,000.
The budget on my electric bill was underpaid last year costing me over $300 to catch up.
My escrow was also underpaid creating an unexpected expense of several hundred dollars.
My homeowners association decided I needed over $400 of yard improvements.
There were several other steep costs this past month.
And finally, the air conditioner on my car went out last week and will cost over $1,000.

Have you ever been here? You probably have. This is life. As I heard someone say today, “You are either in a storm, leaving a storm, or getting ready to enter a storm.”
Fortunately, I have been saving for emergencies for quite a while so I have not had to go in debt. However, my savings is definitely taking an unexpected hit.
I was growing frustrated as the bills were coming in one after another. I began to dread going to the mailbox or answering my phone. My wife said, “Honey, don’t lose your joy.” I replied, “I’m not losing my joy. I’m losing thousands of dollars.” Can you tell she is the mature one in the family!
Here was what I was reminded of and 11 things I am embarrassed to admit about myself:

I am embarrassed about how much I am addicted to comfort and how much it matters to me.
I am embarrassed about how easy I want things to be.
I am embarrassed how addicted I am to systems. Things are simply supposed to work a certain way and when they do not, I am not happy.
I am embarrassed how much I hate inconvenience and do not see how God uses inconvenience to smooth off my rough edges and make me more like Him.
I am embarrassed because enough is never enough. I think I trust God with my money but spend a lot of time figuring out my retirement and next vacation.
I am embarrassed about how quickly I can go from relaxation and self-reliance to desperation.
I am embarrassed about my inability to distinguish between an inconvenience and emergency and a crisis.
I am embarrassed about my lack of perspective and that God is telling an incredible story and I do not see everyday events in it. Or sometimes things just simply break for no reason at all. This is life.
I am embarrassed because most of the world has it much, much worse – often unspeakably worse. A friend of mine would call what I am going through “West Region problems.”
I am embarrassed by my lack of peace during stormy seasons. I have been a Christian 37 years and should be a lot more mature than this. It’s not like I haven’t been here before and God has always provided.
Most of all, I am embarrassed how ungrateful I am when God has already provided the financial resources for this and I get frustrated rather than thankful.

Can you relate? You probably can. This is life.

5 Habits Of Highly Successful Teams

“We are essentially trying to fly a boat with no engine.” These are the words of America’s Cup Oracle Team USA skipper Jimmy Spithill. He would know. The licensed pilot captains a vessel which can reach speeds in excess of 60 mph.
In the May 25th edition of USA Today, Spithill discussed just some of the reasons why the USA team performs at a championship level. Regardless of whether you lead a church, business, non-profit, academic institution, or athletic organization, these lessons can make you better.
The following are 5 Habits Of Highly Successful Teams we learn from Skipper Jimmy Spithill and the USA America’s Cup team:

Highly Successful Teams Are Made Up Of People Who Put Their Team First – Spithill siad, “I don’t like letting people down, that’s for sure. I’ve always been a fan of special forces. They have a similar mantra: ‘You don’t let your brother down.’ In our case, you don’t let your teammate down. That’s motivating. You put the team first and yourself second.”
Highly Successful Teams Are Made Up Of People Who Make Their Teammates Better – A leader’s success is always found in the success of the people they serve. Spithill added, “I just draw on the strength from my teammates. I’m fortunate I work with people who are a lot better than me. That forces me to work harder.”
Highly Successful Teams Prioritize Daily Decision-Making Over Big Events – Your success as a leader is found in your daily agenda. We over-estimate the significance of big moments and under-estimate the power of basic faithfulness. Spithill noted, “The America’s Cup is traditionally won by the team that hits a whole bunch of singles and very few home runs and just pounds everybody by little things. All the right decisions add up to a home run.”
Highly Successful Teams Continually Add Young Talent Who Are Hungry – Spithill noted, “You need new energy and new creativity coming in. Certainly this is the youngest team we’ve ever had. I think it’s a reflection of the physical demands. I think having a younger team, there’s definitely a lot of hunger out there.”
Highly Successful Teams Hire Mentally, Emotionally And Physically Healthy People – The Oracle team features among others an Olympic gold medalist in sailing, an Australian Ironman champion, and a four-time All-American sailor from Georgetown. NBC analyst Ken Read said, “They’re at a fitness level that the sport of sailing has never seen.”

What is one thing you learned from this list which will make you a better leader?

Thursday, June 15, 2017

3 Ways to Defeat Leadership Discouragement

by Charles Stone

Discouragement comes with the territory for ministry leaders. Unmet goals, putting out fires, staff issues, displeasing people, and general tiredness all contribute to discouragement. When it weighs us down, how can we dig out? The life of the prophet Elijah gives us hope.

I Kings 18-19 tells the story of his amazing confrontation with the prophets of Baal. The people of Israel had gathered on Mount Carmel along with 450 prophets of Asherah. They set up a sacrifice and the 450 pagan prophets summoned their gods to provide rain. Nothing happened. Then Elijah summoned the one, true God who showed His power by not only consuming the sacrifice but also ending the drought.
You’d think that after God showed up in such a powerful way, twice, that Elijah would be on a spiritual and emotional high. Not so. After these great victories, he ran for his life, thinking he was the only true prophet left. He literally wanted to die. But God did not leave him alone. I Kings 19 explains how he cared for him.
Three lessons stand out about how we can defeat leadership discouragement.

First, prepare for an emotional dip after spiritual success. I’ve found that discouragement often follows a spiritual high. Among other reasons, it’s the body’s response to stress. Mondays are often the most discouraging days for pastors after an intense Sunday. Prepare for this inevitability.
Second, physically rejuvenate. After Elijah wanted to die, God provided food for him through an angel and had him take two long naps. After a spiritual high, take care of your body to give it time to re-energize. Extra sleep, healthy food, exercise, and doing something fun can help you recover.
Third, still your soul to hear God’s gentle voice. After Elijah fled, God spoke to him in a “whisper.” Often Satan will attack us most after spiritual victories with condemning and tempting thoughts. When he does, turn your heart to the Lord and listen to His quiet, yet encouraging voice.

What has helped you defeat discouragement?

7 Qualities Of The Most Powerful Leaders

“[Some people] are just too tunnel vision all the time and [say], ‘I’m going to succeed and kick #%* in life.’ and they just trample over everyone. The people to me who are the most powerful leaders are the ones who have great talent in whatever their field is, great conviction in their ability to teach it and act it, but an awareness and a humility and compassion for others.” – Golden State Warriors head coach Steve Kerr, Sports Illustrated May 29, 2017

As I read Kerr’s comments, I extracted 7 Qualities Of The Most Powerful Leaders:

The Most Powerful Leaders Have Great Talent – This speaks to their competence. They are experts at their craft.
The Most Powerful Leaders Have Great Conviction In Their Ability – One of the greatest tools a leader has is their memory. Their confidence flows from previous accomplishment. They have been there before.
The Most Powerful Leaders Are Teachers – They have an engaging personality, great communication skills, knowledge of the subject matter, love of people, high expectations, desire to make a difference, enthusiasm, follow-up skills, and are continual learners themselves.
The Most Powerful Leaders Lead By Example – One of the most fundamental leadership principles is people do what people see. Powerful leaders are a pictured of the desired destination at which others should wish to arrive.
The Most Powerful Leaders Have Great Self-Awareness – They have a clear perception of themselves, their strengths and weaknesses, and how others perceive them. Leaders with great self-awareness have influence that is continually increasing. Leaders with low self-awareness have influence that is continually decreasing.
The Most Powerful Leaders Are Humble Leaders – Powerful leaders place the needs of the organization and the people they serve above their own personal interests.
The Most Powerful Leaders Have Great Compassion For Others – President George Bush said, “Use power to help people. For we are given power not to advance our own purposes nor to make a great show in the world, nor a name. There is but one just use of power and it is to serve people.” The most powerful leaders serve the poor, under-resourced, those with no voice, and those who cannot defend themselves.

What is one lesson from the seven listed above that will help you increase your influence as a leader?

How Do You Select A Great Leader? Here Are 39 Tips

Each year 32 different organizations, each worth over a billion dollars, spend tens of millions of dollars, dedicate dozens of staff, and combine thousands of hours of strategic thinking to finding the perfect leader to add to their team.
These 32 billion-dollar organizations make up the National Football League and here is what these teams know – Great leaders do not grow on trees. You cannot just walk out into the yard and pick one. They are in short supply. You have some good hires and some bad hires. So how do you find them? First, you must know what you are looking for.
The following are 39 Lessons from the April 28th ESPN coverage of first round of the NFL Draft:

Leaders Are In Short Supply And Desperately Needed – “Quarterbacks are over-drafted.” – Mel Kiper
The Difference Between Successful And Unsuccessful Leaders Is Poise And Performance Under Pressure – “You will not find a man who plays with more poise under pressure than (Deshaun) Watson.” – Jon Gruden
Missing Out On Great Leaders Causes Your Organization Great Harm – “The Cleveland Browns are where they are (worst record in the NFL) because of not taking Carson Wentz last year.” – Kiper
Great Leaders Have Great Consistency – “It’s always about consistency. Consistency of effort. Consistency of preparation. Consistency of love for the game.” – Louis Riddick
Smart Organizations Pay Whatever Price Is Needed To Get A Great Leader – The Chicago Bears traded their 2017 1st, 3rd and 4th round picks as well as their 2018 3rd pick to move up one spot to draft QB Mitchell Trubisky.
Organizations Are Looking For Leaders Who Can Provide Immediate Solutions – “This is a guy (San Francisco 49ers Solomon Thomas pick #3) who can play multiple positions…They needs guys in the front seven who can stop the bleeding.” – Riddick
Great Leaders Are The Difference Between Winning And Losing – In the Jacksonville Jaguars first eight years when Tom Coughlin was the team’s coach, they had a .531 winning percentage. In the last 14 years, the team has had a .388 winning percentage. During this same time, Coughlin won two Super Bowls as head coach of the New York Giants.
Leaders Need A Great Team Around Them To Be Successful – “They (Jaguars) need to address the offensive line because he’s (#4 pick Leonard Fournette) not a guy who cannot prevent negative runs on his own.” – Riddick
Great Leaders Have Great Concentration – “He (Tennessee Titans #5 pick Corey Davis) does have some lapses in concentration…He’s got to be more consistent.” – Gruden
Great Leaders Bring Your People Great Calm – “You better get somebody at the Command And Control Center who can calm things down. He can calm things down.” – Riddick on the New York Jets #6 pick Jamal Adams
Great Leaders Care About Their Profession – “He (Adams) cares. He cares deeply about the game of football.” – Riddck
Smart Leaders Desire Dominance Over Balance – Does the Los Angeles Chargers select stud defensive lineman Jonathan Allen to go along with Joey Bosa and create a dominant front four? Or do they get quarterback Phillip Rivers some help and select wide receiver Mike Williams? They selected Williams potentially foregoing a dominant front seven.
Leaders Value Team Members With Versatility – Christian McCaffrey only took snaps as a wide receiver on his pro day. Scouts knew his running back skills. He wanted to show his versatility. The Carolina Panthers took him with the 8th pick.
A Leader’s Most Important Ability Is Availability – “The only issue with this kid is durability.” – Kiper on the Cincinnati Bengals pick at #9, Washington WR John Ross
Once Again, Pay Any Price Necessary To Get A Great Leader – The Kansas City Chiefs gave up their first round pick #27, 2017 3rd pick #91, and 2018 first round pick to move up 17 spots to draft quarterback Patrick Mahomes from Texas Tech.
Great Leaders Do Not Come Around Often – Quoting Cheifs head coach Andy Reid, Riddick said about quarterbacks, “You find one you take one.”
Smart Leaders Never Confuse Exposure With Experience – “He’s got a long way to go because of inexperience.” – Gruden on the New Orleans Saints pick of Ohio State cornerback Marshon Lattimore.
For The Third Time, Pay Any Price Necessary To Get A Great Leader – There is a supply and demand element to the NFL Draft. There are only some many top prospects at quarterback in the draft and a lot of demand. The Houston Texans gave up their first round pick #25 and 2018 first round pick to move up 13 spots to draft Deshaun Watson from Clemson. Riddick said, “You’re not moving up to draft this kid and put him on the bench.”
Great Leaders Have Great Decision-Making Skills – Kiper said of Watson, “He’s got to be more accurate in the pocket. He’s got to be more precise…He struggled with bad decisions and bad interceptions which should not have been thrown.”
Count What Counts. Production Matters. – The Arizona Cardinals drafted Haason Reddick, outside linebacker from Temple, with the 13th pick. During his senior season, Reddick had 22.5 tackles for loss and 10.5 sacks.
You Never Have To Recover From a Good Start – Kiper said of the Philadelphia Eagles 1st round pick #14 overall, “He (Derek Barnett) can close despite having only 4.88 speed at the combine.” Gruden added, “The strength of his game is his quick get-off.”
Successful Leaders Must Overcome Great Adversity – The Indianapolis Colts’s 1st round pick #15 overall, Ohio State safety Malik Hooker, dedicated his 2016 season to two cousins who passed away – Victor Ward who was shot and killed, and Delonte Search who passed away in a car accident.
Great Leaders Make The Dreams Of Others Come True – Nice moment with the 16th pick. The Make A Wish Foundation partnered with the NFL to allow TJ Onwuanibe, a teenage cancer survivor, to make the announcement of the Baltimore Ravens selection Alabama defensive back Marlon Humphrey.
Smart Leaders Don’t Overthink Things – Jonathan Allen, who Kiper had rated the 2nd best player in the draft, fell inexplicably to the Washington Redskins with 17th pick. Riddick noted, “The Redskins have to be giddy he fell to them…It’s A+. It’s a slam dunk pick for them.” Gruden added, “I’m shocked he’s there at 17.”
Successful Leaders Recover Quickly From Mistakes They Have Made – Adoree Jackson, the Tennessee Titans’s 18th pick, showed great recovery speed as a cornerback at USC.
Great Leaders Develop Talent – The Alabama Crimson Tide, under head coach Nick Saban, has had 21 first round picks since 2010. 10 more than anyone else.
Smart Leaders Address Needs And Provide Solutions – The Denver Broncos averaged 1.99 yards per rush before contact in 2016. The team addressed this issue with the 20th pick tackle Garett Bolles of Utah.
Character Counts – The Detroit Lions selected Florida linebacker Jarrad Davis linebacker with the 21st pick. The team was looking for high character players.
Smart Leaders Develop A Marketable Skill – While he may be weak against the run, the Miami Dolphins selected Missouri Tigers defensive end Charles Harris with the 22nd pick because of his incredible spin-move rushing the quarterback.
Leaders Need To Exercise Patience Giving Themselves Time To Mature – Evan Engram, tight end from Ole Miss, stayed for his senior season and was drafted by the New York Giants with the 23rd selection. Had he come out last year he was projected as a 2nd or 3rd round selection.
Great Leaders Want To Be On Teams And Units With Other Great Leaders. Like Attracts Like. – The Ohio State Buckeyes became the second time in the draft era to have three defensive backs drafted in the first round.
The Most Talented People Usually Play A Specific Role In Their Organizations – With their second pick in the first round, the Cleveland Browns selected Michigan all-everything player Jabrill Peppers with the 25th pick. Kiper said, “He has to find a position.” However, Gruden noted, “Michigan lined him up where he could impact the game.”
Great Leaders Are In Authority And Also Under Authority – Atlanta Falcons first round pic at #26, UCLA outside linebacker Takkarist McKinley, famously honored his grandmother who raised him.
Great Leaders Make Things Happen. – The Buffalo Bills selected Tre’Davious White, cornerback of LSU, with the 27th pck. Trey Wingo said, “He makes plays all day long.”
Smart Leaders Finish Strong Because Last Impressions Last – Michigan Wolverines defensive end Taco Charlton, the 28th pick of the Dallas Cowboys, made his mark at the end of the year with 2.5 sacks against Ohio State and a sack against Florida State in the Orange Bowl.
Smart Leaders Are Accumulators Of Talent – The Cleveland Browns traded up to the 29th pick to select Miami Hurricanes tight end David Njoku. They became the first team in four years to have three first round picks.
Great Leaders Leave A Great Legacy – The owner of the Pittsburgh Steelers, Ambassador Dan Rooney, passed away two weeks prior to the draft. Commissioner Roger Goodell said, “He was one of the best men I’ve ever known.”
When Looking For A Leader Do Not Pick Who Is Available. Go Get Who You Want. – With arguably one of the top five players in the draft still available with the 31st pick, the 49ers traded their fourth round pick (#111) to move up three positions and select Alabama stud linebacker Reuben Foster.
Successful Leaders Protect Your Organization’s Most Valuable Resources – With the final pick of the first round, the New Orleans Saints selected Ryan Ramczyk, tackle from Wisconsin, to protect star quarterback Drew Brees.

What is one thing you learned from the first round of this year’s NFL Draft which can help you in finding a leader?

Can Something this Simple Supercharge Staff Morale?

by Charles Stone

Several months ago I began something with our staff that has been a huge hit. It’s simple. Any staff can do it, whether in a church or a business application. And it boosts staff morale and excitement when we do it. I encourage you to try it with your staff. It’s called a “Blue Sky Thinking” morning. In this post I explain what it is and how you can do it to supercharge your staff morale.

“Blue Sky Thinking” is a creative brainstorming technique to help leaders think outside the box. The origin of the phrase, although rather obscure, implies the emptiness of the sky and thus, blue sky thinking means thinking with no preconceptions (i.e., thinking outside the box).
Before I give you our steps, I’ve listed below the benefits I’ve observed in our church staff.

It stirred creativity.
It allowed freedom to not have to ‘produce’ something. Rather it provided space to focus on issues we tend to put off.
It fostered deeper relational connection when we shared what we learned.
It encouraged our staff to affirm each other.
It made us more vulnerable to each other as some tears have even been shed.

So, here’s what we do.
STEP 1: I schedule the first Tuesday of each month for our blue sky day. I send an email and ask each staff person to spend at least two hours alone that morning in a place that encourages creative thinking and minimizes distraction. They may choose a coffee house, a park, their office (with the shades drawn to block distractions), or even their home. The key is to pick a place as distraction-free as possible.
STEP 2: During their blue sky session, I encourage them to dream, pray, and think about some ministry or personal issue they need to give attention to. The sky’s the limit. I send these questions in the reminder email a few days prior to spur their thinking. They don’t answer every one, but they pick one or two to stir their creativity.

What is a problem I need to solve in my job? What can I do about it?
What is a process I need to improve? How can I improve it?
If I could, I would (do this in ministry)….
What gives me the most energy in ministry and how can I tap into that even more?
What’s going really well in my role and how can I infuse what’s making it work into other parts of my job?
What is God impressing on my heart?
What if what I am currently doing in ministry just quit working all of a sudden. What could or would I do differently?
What is God teaching me and what do I need to do in response?
What is an area I’ve not thought much about, needed to, but have not scheduled think time?
What is a wild and crazy idea I have? Play around with it.

STEP 3: That day in our staff meeting after we’ve finished our blue sky sessions, we each share what we did in our time. Each staff person takes about 5 minutes to share. I then give us an opportunity to ask questions or comment. Sometimes no one comments. Sometimes the comments are very profound and affirming. I take notes and always affirm each staff person for something I noticed in their blue sky session before the next person shares.
Every time we do this, our morale gets a boost and each of us leaves that staff meeting feeling affirmed and excited.
I encourage you to try this simple experience and see what it does to your staff’s morale.
What kinds of team experiences have boosted your particular staff’s morale?
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Leadership & Market Place Ministry

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

8 Sins You Commit Every Time You Look at Porn

8 Sins You Commit Every Time You Look at Porn