10 Things Pastors Do To Lose The Confidence Of Their Leaders

 

10 Things Pastors Do To Lose The Confidence Of Their Leaders

My return to INJOY Stewardship Solutions has afforded me the opportunity to reconnect with many past relationships.  Today I spoke with one of the most competent lay leaders I have ever met.  He began to share with me how much he had lost the trust and confidence of his church leadership.
I pressed in and asked him to unpack where the breakdowns were taking place.  While I will not share every detail and item he brought forth, I did receive permission to pass along 10 Things Pastors Do To Lose The Confidence Of Their Leaders.
Please note this is from a former lay leader’s point of view.  It also goes deeper than the standard causes of lost confidence being lies and missed expectations.  These two are hopefully obvious and assumed.
The purpose of this post is not to complain but rather provide guardrails to insure pastoral influence is not lost and/or wasted moving forward.  Check out the following and tell me what you think:

1. Hubris – Other than lies and missed expectations, there are few things leaders can do to lose confidence more than exhibit arrogance.  He said, “If you think you have it figured out, you don’t.”
2. Not Respecting The Previous Contributions Of Lay Leaders – As a person who will one day be a “former leader” I took notice when he said, “Honor the past.  Don’t be bound by it but know the history of your church…I know guys that left the church because after they rolled off the board NO ONE wanted any of the history of what and why they did what they did…They felt tossed to the curb. There’s wisdom in their mistakes and their successes.  When you step into a leadership roll don’t assume that no one knew what to do before you came along. You ain’t that smart nor are you that inspired.”  Ouch.
3. Continual Changes In Direction – He said, “A new mission statement destroys credibility.  If you have to declare it, it hasn’t happened and it probably won’t happen (just like the previous one).  Do you want to know who gets excited by a new mission statement?  Printers.”
4. Putting Processes Over People – When there is a sense that leadership is more concerned with budgets than failing marriages, confidence will be lost.
5. Not Communicating Why You Are STARTING A New Ministry – People are down on what they are not up on.  He said, “Tell me why whatever it is (initiative- project- new ministry- whatever) is Kingdom building.  I’m glad you had a new idea.  Why should I participate other than being a good guy?  Tell why it is important and why I need to care.”
6. Not Communicating Why You Are STOPPING An Old Ministry – Leaders understand change is part of ministry.  They also know just because something works today does not mean it will work tomorrow.  However, communication is key during the transition.  He said, “If it worked well, why don’t we keep doing it?  At least tell me why we stopped doing it.”
7. Personal Agendas – Personal agendas were discussed as an item where confidence is lost.  I asked, “How do you know if someone has a personal agenda.”  He responded, “Everything is filtered through what they want to see happen.”
8. Wasting A Leader’s Time – You should never violate a leader’s intentions by having them participate on a committee without fully intending to implement their ideas.  I understood what he meant when he said, “If you ask for my opinion, don’t say, ‘Well, the leadership team said this instead.’  Don’t disguise a task.  You won’t hurt my feelings.”  It was a crying shame when this high capacity leader concluded, “I was given filler projects.”
9. Not Expanding Your Feedback Mechanisms – Leaders often mistakingly default to listening to people just like them.  This is a mistake because you actually receive no additional input.  You are only confirming your biases.  My friend said, “Anecdotal evidence is not evidence. Ask everyone.  Just because your buddies like, agree, want, and accept something doesn’t mean everyone agrees with your inner circle.”  He added, “When looking for new leaders look within your inner circle last.”
10. Not Giving Former Leaders A Place To Serve – It is often discussed the difficulties athletes have transitioning from the glamour of professional athletics to ordinary life.  While different, it is also extremely difficult for a church leader to be marginalized by being relegated to an “average person” in the congregation.  He said, “It was hard for about a year (since concluding his leadership assignment).  Because you understand what’s going on (at the church), you pray hard and all you get is ‘Thanks.  If we need you we’ll call you.’  “It’s like being fired.”

Bonus Thought – To Earn The Confidence Of Leaders Show Them Respect – My friend said what would have really honored him and give him confidence in leadership was an effective on-boarding and off-boarding process.  He would have loved an exit interview.  An exit interview would have given him an opportunity to share what he had learned during all his years of faithful service.
Pastor and church leaders, make continual communication with your past and present leaders a priority.  Nothing will deepen confidence and trust more.  And once this is achieved, these leaders will accelerate the multiplication of your mission and vision.
Your thoughts?