Friday, July 31, 2015

12 Truths About Pastors, Their Assistants And Marital Affairs

on July 29, 2015 in Relationships
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The relationship between pastors and their assistants can be one of the most healthy and productive partnerships in the Kingdom.  And it can also be one of the most destructive.
Recently, Bryan Miles, owner of MAG Bookkeeping and EA Help, joined Carey Nieuwhof for an amazing conversation about pastors and their assistants.  You can listen to the full interview on Carey’s can’t-miss leadership podcast by clicking HERE.  One of the many topics they covered was why marital affairs can so easily take place between the two.
As you read their thoughts below, it will become obvious Bryan and his team can help you become a more effective Christian leader.  Click the image above for bookkeeping assistance and HERE for information on the value virtual assistants can bring to your church or business.
Now, onto their comments with initials provided for the quote’s originator:
  1. Today there is very little you need someone onsite for from an administrative standpoint. – BM
  2. I’ve seen a lot of pastors who have had affairs. – BM
  3. If you can put 800 miles between a pastor and an assistant, that’s a pretty good way to mitigate some concerns the Elder board may have. – BM
  4. When an assistant is working really well with a leader it is very good.  It’s a good rhythm.  It’s like a working partner.  You’re communicating well.  You’re executing.  You’re getting stuff done.  You’re working hard on stuff.  I think there’s this natural attraction that happens in that process and if you’re not careful, you can overstep that boundary. – BM
  5. You’ve got some pastors, they like to test the boundaries a little bit. – BM
  6. I see some pastors that’ve got quite the following and that goes to their head a little bit and they start to tease that out in other ways as well. – BM
  7. You’ll find someone else if it’s not your assistant if you’re inclined to go down that path. – CN
  8. You have to be on your guard for sure. – CN
  9. I’m really interested in seeing marriages survive. – BM
  10. It can be a career-limiting move for a pastor to be caught up in something like that (affair). – BM
  11. Your whole world comes crashing down.  It really, really does.  Your relationship with Christ, your family, your kids. That should be good incentive. – CN
  12. An affair only looks good to the two people involved in the affair. Those are the only two people cheering.  Your kids are not cheering.  Your wife is not cheering.  Your church isn’t cheering.  Leaders aren’t cheering.  The people following you aren’t cheering. You’re the only two people in the world who think it is a good idea. Which probably means it’s not a good idea. – CN
If you are a pastor, church leader or even in the business community and there is a chance for an inappropriate relationship with your assistant, contact Bryan and his team at EA Help today.  They work with all types of leaders from many different environments.  This may be the boundary you need to save your marriage and career.
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