11 Things I Am Embarrassed To Admit About Myself

Have you ever noticed when things go wrong, they come in bunches?  I don’t know about you but when things break in my house and life, it is one after another like waves on a beach.  And this subsequently creates a season of financial challenges.  This is life.
In the last two weeks the following has happened:

• My upstairs air conditioning went out costing me over $1,000.
• The budget on my electric bill was underpaid last year costing me over $300 to catch up.
• My escrow was also underpaid creating an unexpected expense of several hundred dollars.
• My homeowners association decided I needed over $400 of yard improvements.
• There were several other steep costs this past month.
• And finally, the air conditioner on my car went out last week and will cost over $1,000.

Have you ever been here?  You probably have.  This is life.  As I heard someone say today, “You are either in a storm, leaving a storm, or getting ready to enter a storm.”  
Fortunately, I have been saving for emergencies for quite a while so I have not had to go in debt.  However, my savings is definitely taking an unexpected hit.
I was growing frustrated as the bills were coming in one after another.  I began to dread going to the mailbox or answering my phone.  My wife said, “Honey, don’t lose your joy.”  I replied, “I’m not losing my joy.  I’m losing thousands of dollars.”  Can you tell she is the mature one in the family!
Here was what I was reminded of and 11 things I am embarrassed to admit about myself:

1. I am embarrassed about how much I am addicted to comfort and how much it matters to me.
2. I am embarrassed about how easy I want things to be.
3. I am embarrassed how addicted I am to systems.  Things are simply supposed to work a certain way and when they do not, I am not happy.
4. I am embarrassed how much I hate inconvenience and do not see how God uses inconvenience to smooth off my rough edges and make me more like Him.
5. I am embarrassed because enough is never enough.  I think I trust God with my money but spend a lot of time figuring out my retirement and next vacation.
6. I am embarrassed about how quickly I can go from relaxation and self-reliance to desperation.
7. I am embarrassed about my inability to distinguish between an inconvenience and emergency and a crisis.
8. I am embarrassed about my lack of perspective and that God is telling an incredible story and I do not see everyday events in it.  Or sometimes things just simply break for no reason at all.  This is life.
9. I am embarrassed because most of the world has it much, much worse – often unspeakably worse.  A friend of mine would call what I am going through “West Region problems.”
10. I am embarrassed by my lack of peace during stormy seasons.  I have been a Christian 37 years and should be a lot more mature than this.  It’s not like I haven’t been here before and God has always provided.
11. Most of all, I am embarrassed how ungrateful I am when God has already provided the financial resources for this and I get frustrated rather than thankful.

Can you relate?  You probably can.  This is life.

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