5 Warning Signs of Narcissistic Leadership
Print Version
“From Kanye West to Donald Trump, our society not only tolerates narcissism, it thrives on it.”
From
Kanye West to Donald Trump, our society not only tolerates narcissism,
it thrives on it. The truth is that in pop culture, narcissism is funny.
In the church, not so much.
God is calling the leaders of His church to a different, higher standard. Many times, those who serve in leadership capacities have narcissistic tendencies. Unfortunately, it’s all too easy to lose sight of the servant leadership that Jesus modeled for us.
To help you determine if you might need to adjust your leadership trajectory back toward servanthood and away from selfishness, here are five warning signs of narcissistic leadership:
1. Exudes Self-Importance
Leaders that cannot see their organization functioning without them at the helm are at risk of becoming narcissistic. Look at Moses. Multiple books of the Bible are centered on his leadership journey, but when Deuteronomy 34 rolls around, his death gets four verses before the story turns to Joshua. Matt Chandler once said, “The man goes in the ground and the message moves on.” The leadership of your church is its greatest asset but also its greatest liability. The degree to which a leaders is self-important determines that scale.
What about you? Do you feel like if you left your position tomorrow, your church could not survive? Remember that Jesus is the senior pastor of your church. He is the one who ultimately provides and directs.
2. Acts Entitled
Narcissistic leaders feel they are the exception, not the rule. Human resource guidelines that apply to everyone else don’t apply to them. When everyone else is hustling on a project, they’ve got an important meeting. The narcissistic leader’s family time is protected more than the rest of the staff. Scripture teaches that leaders should be exceptions, but not for their own gain. Biblical leaders are exceptional servants, taking the harder road even when the easier path is open to them.
Be honest. Do you hold yourself to a different standard than other staff? Do you expect to be treated differently or better because of your position?
3. Uses Generalizations
Narcissistic leaders exaggerate to achieve their goals. They say “always” and “never” to enhance their perspective. Just enough facts root their generalization in reality. They use the shield of positional authority to shut down opinions. Generalizations can do more emotional damage to team members than almost anything a leader can use. A leader’s words are powerful, and they can be poison.
Think back on your recent interactions with staff or congregants. Have there been any conflicts rooted in the use of generalizations and damaging words? Who might you need to apologize to?
God is calling the leaders of His church to a different, higher standard. Many times, those who serve in leadership capacities have narcissistic tendencies. Unfortunately, it’s all too easy to lose sight of the servant leadership that Jesus modeled for us.
To help you determine if you might need to adjust your leadership trajectory back toward servanthood and away from selfishness, here are five warning signs of narcissistic leadership:
1. Exudes Self-Importance
Leaders that cannot see their organization functioning without them at the helm are at risk of becoming narcissistic. Look at Moses. Multiple books of the Bible are centered on his leadership journey, but when Deuteronomy 34 rolls around, his death gets four verses before the story turns to Joshua. Matt Chandler once said, “The man goes in the ground and the message moves on.” The leadership of your church is its greatest asset but also its greatest liability. The degree to which a leaders is self-important determines that scale.
What about you? Do you feel like if you left your position tomorrow, your church could not survive? Remember that Jesus is the senior pastor of your church. He is the one who ultimately provides and directs.
2. Acts Entitled
Narcissistic leaders feel they are the exception, not the rule. Human resource guidelines that apply to everyone else don’t apply to them. When everyone else is hustling on a project, they’ve got an important meeting. The narcissistic leader’s family time is protected more than the rest of the staff. Scripture teaches that leaders should be exceptions, but not for their own gain. Biblical leaders are exceptional servants, taking the harder road even when the easier path is open to them.
Be honest. Do you hold yourself to a different standard than other staff? Do you expect to be treated differently or better because of your position?
3. Uses Generalizations
Narcissistic leaders exaggerate to achieve their goals. They say “always” and “never” to enhance their perspective. Just enough facts root their generalization in reality. They use the shield of positional authority to shut down opinions. Generalizations can do more emotional damage to team members than almost anything a leader can use. A leader’s words are powerful, and they can be poison.
Think back on your recent interactions with staff or congregants. Have there been any conflicts rooted in the use of generalizations and damaging words? Who might you need to apologize to?
4. Needs Adoration
Everyone wants to be liked. Most people will change behavior to some degree if they believe it will make them better liked. Narcissistic leaders need adoration. When they receive criticism, especially from staff or colleagues, they tend to react in two ways. First, they may become defensive and reactionary. Perceived offenses are met with negativity and bullying. This won’t make the offender like them, but it might make them fear the leader—which is often an acceptable substitute. Conversely, the narcissistic leader may respond emotionally. The leader employs tears, pleas and emotional manipulation so that the critic feels bad for speaking up. He or she will think twice the next time.
Do you find yourself being motivated by pleasing others or garnering attention and compliments? How can you shift your thinking to place a higher value on who you are in Christ?
5. Lacks Empathy
Most characteristically, the narcissistic leader lacks empathy. His chief concerns are their goals, mission and reputation. Narcissistic leaders are willing to sacrifice people on the altar of ego. Unfortunately, most of the time they don’t even realize that there is a trail of emotionally damaged people in their wake. As a church leader, this is the most dangerous aspect of narcissism. God has called us to love one another. When we filter our lives through the lens of ego, we become blind to the spiritual need that demands our full attention.
Is there a high turnover rate within the teams you lead? Is there a chance that others do not want to serve with you or under you because they feel you value performance over people?
—
Narcissism is easy to see in others but hard to see in ourselves. However, the success of our leadership depends on our ability to know ourselves, so step back. Think objectively. Are you showing any of the five warning signs.
Your leadership may depend on it.
Note: This post originally published at ScottBall.net on July 24, 2015, and on The Malphurs Group Blog on August 18, 2015.
Everyone wants to be liked. Most people will change behavior to some degree if they believe it will make them better liked. Narcissistic leaders need adoration. When they receive criticism, especially from staff or colleagues, they tend to react in two ways. First, they may become defensive and reactionary. Perceived offenses are met with negativity and bullying. This won’t make the offender like them, but it might make them fear the leader—which is often an acceptable substitute. Conversely, the narcissistic leader may respond emotionally. The leader employs tears, pleas and emotional manipulation so that the critic feels bad for speaking up. He or she will think twice the next time.
Do you find yourself being motivated by pleasing others or garnering attention and compliments? How can you shift your thinking to place a higher value on who you are in Christ?
5. Lacks Empathy
Most characteristically, the narcissistic leader lacks empathy. His chief concerns are their goals, mission and reputation. Narcissistic leaders are willing to sacrifice people on the altar of ego. Unfortunately, most of the time they don’t even realize that there is a trail of emotionally damaged people in their wake. As a church leader, this is the most dangerous aspect of narcissism. God has called us to love one another. When we filter our lives through the lens of ego, we become blind to the spiritual need that demands our full attention.
Is there a high turnover rate within the teams you lead? Is there a chance that others do not want to serve with you or under you because they feel you value performance over people?
—
Narcissism is easy to see in others but hard to see in ourselves. However, the success of our leadership depends on our ability to know ourselves, so step back. Think objectively. Are you showing any of the five warning signs.
Your leadership may depend on it.
Note: This post originally published at ScottBall.net on July 24, 2015, and on The Malphurs Group Blog on August 18, 2015.
No comments:
Post a Comment