Friday, March 25, 2016

How we respond to criticism has a measurable, lasting impact on others...

How we respond to criticism has a measurable, lasting impact on others...

Thank you for downloading "What Really Matters in Leadership?"  or simply taking an interest in my projects and life!  I value each of you, and my goal through this monthly newsletter is that you would walk away with at least one helpful leadership insight that you can apply right now.  In case you missed any of them, here are the last few blogs I've written, mostly (but not all) on the topic of giving and receiving feedback: 

    How to Receive Feedback Graciously
(Or, The Most Ridiculous Customer Service Experience in my Life)
 
    A recipe for how to make someone's blood boil.  And how to cool it down in 3 simple steps.
 
   
Which is worse: criticism or indifference?
 
  
   
Just add one word — "because" — to make your appreciation of others meaningful.

     
 Breaking down effective feedback: 7 practical steps that can be executed in less than 1 minute.
 
      
One simple thing you can say to eliminate 90% of problems when you're delivering feedback.
 
Lately, I've been thinking about the best and worst customer service experiences in my life.  Maybe because they happen every day... just the other day, I waited for fifteen minutes at a restaurant's hostess stand before any staff worker noticed me... and then they never apologized.  The other week on the phone with a utility company, I got put on hold three times as I was passed back and forth between agents who each blamed a different department, and each claimed they had no authority to do anything about my problem.  Great.

But then there was the grocery store clerk who went the extra mile to give me a refund for my spoiled food, although I had left my receipt at home.  And the online store that sent a personal apology for a mistake in my order, and sent me the right item for free.  

Needless to say, I'll be shopping at that grocery and online store again, and I won't be eating at that restaurant ever again.  Our leadership has a measurable impact on relationships, business, and ministry.  And the same applies as I think about how I act as a Christian.  I think of the times I got defensive when I felt attacked for my beliefs or leadership, and how that turned off people even more.  I also think of the friendships I was able to preserve throughout the years, because God taught me how to listen well, rather than react in the heat of disagreements or fights.
   
I'm learning that there are things we can do to learn how to respond to criticism better, and they can be simple things we can say and do: things in the form of two simple sentencesone helpful wordthree steps... which can shape a feedback conversation, and be executed in less than one minute.  I'm seeing we can learn and grow more quickly than we think, if we practice regularly.  

The great news is also that I'm learning we don't need to be perfect.  The restaurant, utility company, grocery and online stores all made mistakes.  What made the difference in whether I wanted to return for repeat business?  How theyresponded to their mistakes.  

I'd love if you would write back and share what you've learned on the topic of feedback as well, or point me to any resources that you've found helpful.  
We are all partners in a common mission, and I'm grateful to get to learn and grow from each of you.

Thank you for reading, and I always love hearing from you!

Gratefully, Adrian

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